17 December 2007

an experiment...

that sort of just happened. I didn't really plan ahead, but in the midst of the day, decided to stick with it.

Today I was Walker's shadow, not saying "NO" or snatching contraband at each turn. Rather, I was around him and I talked to him. I said it just happened, but that's the earthly explanation for God's intervention. You see, with Brad gone, the busyness becomes exasperating, and when I am exasperated, its not a great environment for my boys. And let's be reminded, Brad's (only) gone for 12 days this time, the next time he leaves it may be for 15 months. So when I am exasperated after a few days, Satan gets a foothold, and he begins to whisper, "if you can't handle a few days, how will you handle a year?" I could go on with those lies, he is the father of them after all...

I needed to go to the Post Office, yes, on the busiest day of the year. And rather than start on a bad note, I decided to skip showering...trouble always brews during shower time... Off we went. I planned ahead and brought the stroller. From there, we went to Wal-Mart where we lost Walker's second hat of the season (its going to be a long winter). I decided not to rush taking a shower when we got home, I did not want to leave the two alone for 10 minutes today. When Walker brought the deodorant out of the bathroom, I got on my knees and told him it wasn't a toy. He looked at me and tugged on his shirt. He knew it wasn't a toy. He wanted to put some on. If I had just grabbed it like normal, he would've thrown a fit and then a few more poor choices would've followed...We do this everyday, I know the drill. When he woke up too early from his nap, I laid down with him, rather than letting him wander around still tired. He fell back to sleep for another hour. When Wilson made cards for his teachers, I let Walker play with the foam pieces too (Ok, so they did go in his mouth and Muskoka's water dish, but he was there with us.) When they played in the garage, I watched from a distance. I saw Wilson aggravate him (I don't want to burst any bubbles, here, but poor Wilson has been with an exasperated Mommy and the one he can take that out on is his brother.) This time when Walker got mad, he didn't get in trouble, I intervened with a different perspective.

There are other examples from the day... I didn't get my grocery list finished, and I forgot to turn on the dryer. I haven't sewn a stitch yet and its already approaching late in my book. But--I got to have a 'debrief' in the bathtub after the boys were asleep...not a bad way to end a day really. My Father reminded me today of the way He loves. He reminded me that He called me to this place, to mother these children, to love this man--this soldier. He reminded me that He has the strength for each day, regardless of my circumstances, His strength will not run low. He will not tire, He will not leave. He called me to this place at this time.

I found a picture the other day from when I was in Africa. In it, I am standing with a woman and her child and I am wearing an Army (PT) shirt. God knew the irony that photograph would one day hold for me. Its amazing to think that when that picture was taken over 8 years ago, and I thought I was going to be a single missionary, He knew. He knew all about today, He knew my husband would one day go to Africa as a soldier. Is it just me or is that mind-blowing? And crazier yet...He knows what each and every one of my days ahead holds as well... I have a feeling that picture will become even more special as this deployment comes closer...

Anyway, its a bit of a long-winded ramble there, but I wanted to share some thoughts. I will cherish this day, its one of those days!


  1. I thank God for those days often! It's such a blessing that you do want to treasure it, but I'm often reminded that if the days were all like that we really wouldn't appreciate the moments when we have them. I wonder why it is sometimes that God has to practically shake us to make us stop and follow his lead. I smile when I think of Walker and all of his busy moments because I know that mind he has is an incredible piece of work that God has made. I thank him every day for the moments he has seen fit to let me have. Enjoy those little guys they turn into wonderful "big people" way too soon for me!

  2. Isn't it cool when we actually listen to what God is telling us, and what a huge change it makes in our attitudes!!

    Although Ande hasn't ever been away from home for more than a few days since we got married, when he was working it was almost like that for me...being alone in the house ALL DAY LONG with 2 kids in diapers and no daddy around to help for as many as 18 hours of the day can be very trying. Add to that a tight budget and lost perspective...yep, I can relate!

    Thanks for blessing us with your candor - it helps me to remember what kind of mommy God wants ME to be, too!!

  3. I hear ya girl! I have Dennis the Menace and Curious George rolled up in one. Plus a brother and sister who tend to complicate things. I have those same struggles every day...To do it as a single mom is even more challenging. Way to go!