06 August 2008

ready

I remember clearly a conversation I had with Brad over our 'last' family lunch before he deployed. (Little known fact, the days leading up to a deployment often contain many moments of tear-filled eyes by one or both adult members of the family). Brad looked over the table at me and said, "Not doing so good, huh?"

I nodded through my tears. I said, "this is the last time we'll all have lunch like this, because by the time you get back, Wilson will be in school." (another little known fact, most days Brad had an hour and a half for lunch, and living on post, means he was usually home for lunch for at least an hour each day).

Brad replies, "I think it bothers you more about Wilson than me..."

And you know, he was right. PLEASE do not misinterpret that to mean that I don't miss Brad. I mean, seriously, you know that right? Ok, well this week I finally figured out why that statement was true. You see, I intend to eat lunch with Brad well into my 80's and even if he makes a career of this army-thing, we will still have another 30 years to eat lunch together. My boys, on the other hand, their days with me are short in comparison. Granted, if we choose to home school one day, then we will again be eating lunch together...but regardless, I don't expect them to live in my home as adults...(although, Wilson swears he wouldn't live anywhere else.)

Both Brad and I want our boys to go out of our family home with their hearts full of the dreams God gives them. And as difficult as that will be one day, I know it will also be a celebration. And as weird as lunchtime will be next Friday without big Willy around, I know he is ready. And as his mom, I sure as heck better be cheering him on. Rather than holding him back...

So, y'all, pray for our big step into little-kindergarten-manhood next week. Pray that I will guard my words around Wilson and keep my criticisms quiet (you know I already have a list forming...get this, they are breaking the crayons into thirds to teach the kids how to hold their writing utensils... I had to explain it to Wilson as soon as I read it, because he has a minor meltdown when Walker tears the paper off the crayons. They suggested we break golf pencils in half to practice with at home....as if I even have golf pencils at home... Ok, I told you I had a little list going, and you can see why I need your prayers...). And also, most importantly, pray for the new ministry opportunities that will walk into our lives when Wilson walks into that school...

6 comments:

  1. This new adventure for your family will be both exciting and frustrating. Just keep remembering that you have a mission, to touch others for Christ. Sometimes it hard when you have to do stupid things like break crayons. When negative pops up, search for a positive to counteract it, and pray that God will give Wilson a special little friend, and you an opportunity to be a light to someone too! We are praying for you all. Don't feel bad for crying either, I cry the first day of school. Its hard to let the kids go back and the house is always so stinkin quiet!

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  2. Tears are just streaming down my face, because your words remind me of how I feel when I think about my "baby" getting ready to start HIGH SCHOOL. He's always been fiercly independent - when he was 2 and went to his first day of daycare. He waved and said "bye momma" and ran in with the other kids. I cried all the way to work.

    When school starts in a couple of weeks and I have to drop him and his sister off to ride the bus to high school and middle school, respectively, you can count on the fact that I will cry on the way home.

    We're moms. It's what we do. Praying for you and for Big Willie as well!

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  3. I, too, cry my eyes out. They actually started a fellowship time at GCS for the parents the first 2 days of school. Mrs. Baker (Dakota and Autum's Kg teacher) lovingly nicknamed it the "Boo-Hoo Tea" which is really what it was...it was a group of us fiercely neurotic over protective moms eating donuts and drinking coffee in the gym trying to comfort each other because our babies were no longer babies. The awesome thing was being able to pray with these other moms and know that you are not the freak your husband (my husband) thinks that you (me really) are. Men generally do not understand the whole empty nest thing until the nest is really empty. I give Brad a lot of credit for such a profound statement! Anyway, I will pray for you as you send your little man to school.

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  4. We're starting into Kingergarten this year too, but fortunately only half day. We also have until after Labor Day before Kindergarten starts here. Our school makes you put the supplies into a box without putting names on so that it is a community supply.

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  5. I am so excited for Wilson, but sad for you. I remember Kingergarten well. By the time they get to 9th grade, you can't wait to let them go. It does get easier, it just takes a while. Love you bunches, Sandy

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