29 September 2010

from there to here...

in a round-about sort-of-way.

You might be kind of wondering about how I went from "bring me home a baby from Africa" to adopting from the state of Georgia.

Its interesting. This journey God leads us on. Each journey unique, each child being led by the One who knows every step, every twist, every turn. And then, you know, if you are married - well, God leads each of you uniquely but simultaneously. And sometimes when I try to ponder it, I am just awed at how He does it.

If you know us (which the last time I checked everyone who reads this blog knows us), you know we are a bit different from one another. . Not total-opposites-attract-different; but most certainly not two-peas-in-a-pod. And our pastor says that is a good thing in a marriage, because if we were both the same then one of us wouldn't be necessary. Which is actually a really great point, and a wonderful thing to ponder in the midst of circumstances that bring your glaring differences to a head - just keep that in mind for yourself down the road.

In a letter to our families, I mentioned that Brad and I didn't have an "aha" moment about adopting. He wasn't at work, and me at home when we both sent each other a two-word text "Let's Adopt!" Didn't happen that way...

It was many hours of talking. Spread out over many, many, many months. Perhaps years. I couldn't tell you the first time it came up. (Brad probably could because he has a killer memory - we are different in this area).

I can tell you that I was kind of set on adopting internationally, because I adore Africa. I would love to go there again...and I knew if we adopted from there I would get to. Not really the best motive, but I am being honest.

I can also tell you that I was kind of set on not adopting domestically through foster care.

So that's where my heart started. I sort of had a little plan going.

Brad was on to me fast. He always is... and besides I am so transparent that I pretty much give those sorts of things away.

Brad asked me to do the research part of this... His schedule was so crazy (IS so crazy), so I started off reading books, and requesting informational packets. We would discuss my findings on our date nights. Among other things.

The State of GA didn't have a very user-friendly website. It took me weeks to track down someone to contact locally. And weeks to get a return phone call.

During those weeks, I began to assume that my plan was going to end up being His plan (like how often does that EVER happen?)

Brad was patient to wait.

In my heart, I thought that even though international adoption takes quite some time, at least you kind of know the steps and can kind of time the process - and besides all the people at those agencies call me back right away AND reply to my emails!

On July 3, I took the boys to see the fireworks on post. Remember? We were expecting Mom & Dad the next day so I didn't really want to be out that late, but I also didn't want to miss out on the fireworks. But when we got in our car I was determined to beat all the crazy traffic.

I sat there figuring out which way would be faster. I thought that instead of following the rest of the traffic toward the main artery, I would take a short-cut through post. I thought my way would be faster. I thought my way would be the right way to go.

As soon as I turned out onto the road, the opposite way of a long-string of brake lights I felt so smug - for about half a block. The place that I planned to turn was closed. I am sure I started to blush at my own ignorance. But at the same time, I felt a sense of reassurance. "My daughter, won't you please let me lead you? Won't you please lay down your own plan and stop your silly figuring? Let Me lead you." And I spent some time finally laying down my own ideas, my own plans... and my heart opened up for Him to lead me. I realized that I hadn't even considered adopting here because I was too afraid of the unknown and the unlikely. I confessed, somewhere in some neighborhood behind a bunch of cars that were stopped because we all knew we would be able to beat the other traffic, and my heart was changed.

I'm not much of a "what-if" kind of girl. We had a SS teacher at our last church that would ask things like "What if Jesus never died on the cross?" And I always had to fight the urge to yell something like "He did. Why waste time on what ifs?" But this little adoption scenario (little is used loosely) has caused me to ponder a huge "what if." What if Brad wasn't the kind of man that insisted on weighing all of the options? What if he was the kind of man that just wanted to please his wife and jumped on board with my ideas? Thank God I can't answer those questions. Thank God for making Brad such a good match for me.

"The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

3 comments:

  1. Adopting is a journey...no matter what continent you might chose, there are so many children out there who need parents, love, security, and encouragement. I thank God that he lead you and Bradley to each other and towards the road that you both are choosing to travel. What if? It is a question that never really gets answered.

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  2. So true, Yaya!!!! What if's never get answered but God does answer us. He is leading you on this journey right now.... it may not always be an easy one, but you already know that. It will be a great one because you are now allowing God to lead you.

    I remember you sharing that story with me. I have shared it with others.....if only we could all just stop and wait for God to show us the way and not try our "own" thing.

    God has blessed you both with each other and two wonderful boys. He will give you the child that He has for you....I can not wait to get the call(and I better get a call) that you are bringing your new little one home. (I may just have to get into the car and come for a visit).

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  3. Great post, sis, it really spoke to me.

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