26 February 2012

brokenness aside

yesterday was not a good day.

 it was hard.

 babies did not nap. when they did fall asleep, a little cough woke them up. a dog collar shaking would startle. shutting the baby gate was like firing off a round.

sleep would not come for them at our home yesterday.

brad and i felt powerless to be of any comfort or help. we were short with one another and harsh with the bigger boys. feelings were hurt.

it wasn't pretty.

somehow, the babies were rather happy and energetic by the end of the day. big boys chased and giggled and peek-a-booed. we packed up to head to the foster home.

driving 15 mph in our neighborhood, we hit a black lab.

i saw her just before we hit.

babies screamed. big boys whispered about what had happened from the far-back seat.

dog owner jumped out of the vehicle behind us as the dog ran behind houses. he cursed at her stupidity.

babies screamed on. big boys kept whispering. daddy checked the bumper.

dog owner jumped back into his vehicle and sped off.  no idea where that black lab ran off to.  we had to file a report at the MP station.

as we drove across post to the MP station, I had to call to let the foster parents know we'd be later than planned.  babies babbled while i talked on the phone.

the car was quiet... this song came on the radio. the words wrapped around me.

i thought of our {not-yet-ours} babies riding in our car; of other babies waiting for forever families.  i wondered about the the family that owned this stupid dog, and the hard choices that they might be making.  thoughts wandered to my friend who had to say good-bye to her deploying husband last night. my eyes welled. there is so much brokenness.

and somehow, He takes brokenness aside and makes it beautiful. it is a mystery to me. i am captivated. even in the middle of hard.


  1. Beautiful, as always, Amanda.

  2. I was able to snuggle Breeze while listening to this song.....a moment I won't forget! Thank you for sharing sister!