21 February 2014

five minute friday :: small

While talking with one of my "encouragers" last week, she asked if I was still thinking about doing five minute Fridays to help me get back at writing.  I hemmed + hawed.  (Is that how you spell that?)  Very non-committal.

But today the prompt just fits with how I am feeling.  Small. 

***

Brad sent the text with "call me ASAP"  So I parked the cart off to the side and made the call.

There had been a shooting in the parking lot downtown.  At the DFCS office.  I think it took me at least 30 seconds to figure out what had just been spoken.

Then I remembered my friend was making a delivery down there today.  She had collected clothing from schools and day care centers around town as a special way to love on Foster Care kiddos for Valentine's. {She works with an organization called Live Your Love Loud, please check them out if you would like.}

I sent her a text.  She was there, but she was ok. 

I fumbled around the commissary with our double-steering-wheel cart.  My heart was broken for the workers that had lost one of their own. 

I felt small.  Helpless. 

I exchanged a few more texts with my friend that was in the office and with the caseworker I know best.  What I really wanted to do was curl up in a corner of the commissary and sob.

This broken world.  These heartaches. 

But I had that double cart overflowing with elbows and giggles and some shoving and reaching.  So I just kept pushing my cart through the commissary and praying God's presence and peace to be mighty in the offices downtown today. 

The real prayer of my heart is "come Lord Jesus."  I just want Him to come pick me up and hold me close and wipe away all of these tears and fix all of the broken pieces.  My own hurt is so very small in comparison to what others are carrying today.  Yet He sees my small.  And He doesn't dismiss it.

***

I don't feel right linking this up to the five-minute-Friday-party today, so I'm just going to quietly post it here.

Here is a link to the story.  Click here.

Please pray with me for the family members and friends of the victim. 

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