20 May 2014

an anniversary

Today is the day Josh + Alyssa were married.  I confess, I didn't know when their anniversary was until earlier this month. I wasn't there when they promised vows, I didn't even know them then.  Our friendship isn't that old.

I'm only becoming familiar with their history because I've waded into the depths of grief with Alyssa. I won't share her story here, it is hers to tell.  I can only share what I am learning as I bear witness.

Today would be their anniversary.

Tomorrow will mark 3 months since he last breathed earth air.

I still find myself at a loss.  I can't draw any conclusions about how this is good.  I can't.

But everything in me still believes God is good.  And there are days when I wrestle with this tension.  I shake my head and wipe my tears and beg God to be so near Alyssa and each of her precious children.

I've held her hands and prayed those desperate prayers, begging Him to be present, to be near, to hold close, to protect, and guard and make new.  I've desperately asked Him to just come back. . .to rescue us from this broken world.  I've flipped through His word, seeking Truth to share -- the kind that gives Hope on the darkest days.

I've cried so many tears.  And prayed so many prayers.  I know my offerings are just a sliver of what others have cried and prayed.

Nonetheless, God remains faithful.  The weight of grief is heavy and the darkness is deep.  The waves continue to crash for this family. 

Even so, I've seen these glimmers of His glory.  These faint shimmers of goodness and light.  This hope rising and this beauty emerging that is beautiful.

I recognize God's Spirit within Alyssa.  She writes these profound and moving words on FB from time to time that just about take my breath away.  All I can do is offer praise to God because it is evident that He is holding her.  So close.

I don't have any understanding.  Yet my faith finds this soil fertile too.

Please pray for Alyssa today, and tomorrow, and as often as God brings her to mind.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV

If you haven't donated to the fundraising page, it is still active.  The goal is $25,000 per child so there is more to be raised. 

No comments:

Post a Comment