Good Friday

We sat around the fire this morning and asked the boys if they knew what today was. . . Good Friday.  We talked about Jesus dying as we ate our lumpy oatmeal.  One of the boys asked, "but why do they call it 'good'?"  And I admitted that was an excellent question.

We reeked a bit of campfire + funk from a night of camping and I explained that if Jesus hadn't died for us we'd have no hope at all.  I said something about how all of us needed a Savior.

It wasn't a long, planned-out conversation - no colorful eggs to tell the story, no object lessons, I didn't even open the Bible app on my phone.  We just talked about His death which gives us Life.

But as this day unfolds, I keep thinking about how desperately we need a Savior.  About how we all just reek a bit of smoke + funk + we're broken down in this world.

He came for all of us.  Not a single one of us is enough on our own.  We need a Savior to rescue us.  And so He came.  For each of us.  He comes now still. He comes with Love for the broken + the messy + the smelly + the lost.

He chose the cross, for you and for me.  He suffered for us.  Willingly because of Love.

Not because we deserved it, or because we were trying really hard to be good.  Rather He did it precisely because we could never be good enough nor could we ever deserve it.  His mercy and grace and love drove Him to that cross.  His obedience to His Father endured death on our behalf.

If you aren't sure that His love is for you, I pray you'd find out.  I pray you would be brave and walk into a church and ask, "Did He really do this, even for me?"  The answer is "Yes. Especially for you."  I promise you it is.****

Right now today, not after you get yourself clean or after you read the Bible in a year.  No, right now, today, just as you are -- His love for you is unwavering.

 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8 NASB"

His love for you - and me - is what makes a day like today a good one.




**** p.s. You don't have to actually walk into a church to find out these answers.  You can ask me or anyone you know that knows Jesus.  I do believe the Church is a great place to find out more about Jesus though.  If you need help finding one, I'd be happy to help with that! :)

#ThemeParkTherapy

A long, long time ago I was a classroom teacher.  I was awesome at some parts of it {my bulletin boards were spectacular!} and not-so-terrific at other parts {my plan-book was sub-par apologies to anyone that ever subbed for me}.

There are some moments I will always treasure from that time.  One in particular was a field trip to Lake Michigan.  We took our 4th grade classes across the state to PJ Hoffmaster State Park.  The majority of those kiddos had never seen a Great Lake, so when they got to end of the trail and the trees gave way to the dunes + the shoreline their surprise was audible.  It was so precious.
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In case you have never seen a Great Lake yourself, here you go:

See?  Beautiful, right?
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But back to the point.  The kiddos were just so surprised and delighted and awed by it and we got to see it all over their faces and hear it in their voices.  The students that showed no interest in math were enthralled by what they were seeing.  Students that were typically quiet in the classroom were suddenly chatty.  This experience leveled the playing field - we were all fascinated by the scene. I'm so grateful I was able to be a part of it.

I was thinking about this trip to Lake Michigan because The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children has launched a new program.  Its called "Theme Park Therapy" -- aka #ThemeParkTherapy.  The hope is to give foster families this type of shared experience to treasure for always.  A day when kids get to be kids and parents get to witness delight and awe and joy.  The goal is to send 56 foster kiddos + parents to Six Flags {its not Lake Michigan but I think the kiddos will love it nonetheless!}.  The total cost is $2500.  Basically, a donation of $45 would cover admission, lunch, + transportation to the park for one person.  Not a bad deal.

I love that the organization is covering the cost for the children as well as the parents, and that they thought to cover lunch and transportation as well.  Our family has been at a theme park before and felt a little stressed-out about the cost of food, or wondered if the entrance fee was really worth it.  Have you been there too?  This program eliminates that tension for the foster family altogether and just allows for them to have a special day together.

There are so many struggles that children in foster care face, they often miss out on some very basic childhood moments.   A trip like this can help restore a little bit of what has been lost.  It won't solve every problem or magically erase trauma and heartbreak, but it can give a foster family a delightful shared experience.  We recently read an article online from Foster Focus Magazine and it outlines a similar program and the results they have observed.  You can read Disney Therapy: Just a Spoonful of Sugar here.

The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children has set-up a special paypal page for donations specific to this program.  You can find it by clicking here.  

Also, Brad has encouraged crowd-funding for this as well. You can set up a fundraising page on Pure Charity and have your friends donate directly to your page.  This would be a super easy way for a Sunday School class or youth group to rally around our foster care community.  You can click here to find out more about this option.

If you have any questions about the program you can comment here or on The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children facebook page.  And don't forget to share this!

run your race

Sometimes there are just words on repeat pounding in my head. Over and over and over.  Does this happen to you too?

Today, its "run your race."

Of course its rooted in a verse, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And LET US RUN with perseverance THE RACE marked out FOR US," Hebrews 12:1 {niv} [emphasis mine]

Oh, Hebrews 12 is jam-packed with goodness and even Hebrews 12:1 is chock-full of treasure itself.  Maybe just go re-read it one more time.  I'll wait.

And the follow-up is "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:2a {niv}

Good Truth.

This metaphor about running a race is a drum-beat in my heart.  We all have a race marked out for us.  We don't all run the same race, except we do run at the same time.  Wild, huh?  My race won't look like yours, yours won't match mine.  Our course might overlap, at times we might even get to run alongside one another. We likely didn't start at the same place and might not finish at the same time.  But we get to run our race.  You get to run your race, I get to run mine. 

And the key to running well is keeping our eyes on Jesus. Oftentimes we get this part a little mixed up. We think we should match pace with other runners on the course so we look at what they are doing.  Or we feel bad about how poorly we are performing, we get upset with the results we are seeing right in front of us, and forget to look ahead. 

But when we focus on Jesus, we remember, He goes before us.  He called us to this.  He prepared us for this.  He will get us through this.  The highs, the lows, the hills and the valleys, He has marked the course for us.  He gives the pre-race brief, He'll direct us through every intersection, He'll encourage every step forward we take -- and He will stand alongside us when we just need to catch our breath.  He won't condemn our missteps, but He will do some course-correction.  At times it will be painful.  He'll remind us that its worth it.  He will cheer us when it seems there is nothing even worth cheering.  His delight in us will be evident with every slow clap and high five.  He will push us beyond what we thought capable and then a little further still.  He will stand at the finish line confidently awaiting our arrival.

We get to run our race.  You get to run your race, I get to run mine.   Is that cool or what?

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In somewhat related news, I ran a race with Walker this weekend.  Which is always such a delightful experience.

We didn't train for it.  At all.  So we are both hobbling around a bit two days later.  Our legs are sore, but we are still glad we did it.  We learned an important lesson about training better before the next race we run together.

I was also reminded about the kindness that is often found at these types of races.  All along the way there were words of encouragement.  Walker and I ran a pretty steady race, there were a lot of hills so we adapted our strategy and decided to walk the uphills.  It worked for us.  With the walk breaks, we kept trading places with a few other people on the run -- we'd walk and get passed, we'd start running again and pass them, etc. 

We were just a handful of the people on the course.   None of us ran the race exactly the same way.  Even Walker and I had some variances between us.  But we all ran that race Saturday.  We stood around afterwards discussing those hills and congratulating one another. We talked about other races we had run and even talked about upcoming races.  Nobody came up to us and asked why we bothered running if we were going to walk the uphills.   None of the early finishers mocked the late finishers.  Actually at the end of the race, the crowd of cheering onlookers grew as each finisher joined in the cheering for the other competitors.

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Oh that we would cheer one another on in this way.  What beauty if we would encourage each other as we run the race marked out for us, not only allowing differences in pace and style but celebrating those differences as well. Realizing that the best thing we can do for one another as we run, is to continually look to Jesus -- keeping our eyes on Him and reminding each other to do the same along the way. 

Emergency Clothing Closet Needs

It's been a long while since I have posted an updated list of needs for the Foster Care Emergency Clothing closet*.  Winter always finds me with a sick kiddo or two and I inevitably have to cancel a volunteer day here and there.  When I get out of the habit of going, I start to pull back a bit.

When a few weeks away from the office turns into a month away, its hard to get back into the swing of things.   Especially posting the lists of needs.  It always feels a little awkward to do it again. This week, however, God has been using my own words to encourage me.  Of course, it was via conversations with Lincoln + Franklin.

Lincoln does this thing at dinner where he tells me what he is going to eat.  He tells me many, many, many times, "I am going to eat this chicken."  I tell him, "stop talking about it and just do it." 

Yesterday the boys were picking up their room.  They were singing the "clean-up song," you know the one?  Everybody everywhere...  I took a peek and noticed that they were singing but not really doing any of the work.  I told them, "you can't just sing about it, you have to actually pick stuff up!  Just singing the song doesn't make it happen." 

I've been to the clothing closet twice this winter without posting an updated list of needs.  As I got ready to go yesterday I  realized that just going down and doing the inventory doesn't really matter if I never share what is needed.  I am basically just singing a song and expecting the work to happen magically.  Tuesday afternoon I told myself I would get the list done.  Its now Thursday and I told myself that I have to stop talking about it and just do it. 

Sometimes I am exactly like a four-year-old.

But I am finally getting it done.

I know so many of you are eager to help so I apologize for not keeping you informed of what the current needs have been.  The list of needs is longer than it has been in awhile.  So keep an eye out for bargains.  Remember, we only accept new clothing at this time.  A lot of sizes have shirts but no pants, so if you find a deal on pants/jeans we can probably make outfits with what is on-the-rack. 
 

A few other items we need are toddler-size underwear for boys + girls; and 4T diapers. We could also use shelf-stable snacks that are individually packaged. We actually have LOTS of child-size backpacks and bags right now!  Yay!



*Foster Care Emergency Clothing closet - This is located in the Muscogee County Foster Care office.  The items are used for children that come in to care and might need a fresh change of clothes. I am always happy to answer any questions you might have about the closet :)

four

Dudes, you are four.  I cannot even believe it.  And yet I can, because we just lived through "3."

I won't sugar-coat, three was a rough one for us.  Historically, it hasn't been my shiniest parenting year ever.  So in a way, I knew it would be a challenge. And surely you can acknowledge that it was.  The good news, though, is that we made it through.  And we all still love each other.

Don't get me wrong, though.  It wasn't all bad.  Not even close.  There is just something so delightful about a toddler becoming a bigger person.  I can't help but love the random questions you two have asked me over the past year.  Like last week when we were driving, Lincoln said, "Mom, do you love gum parties?"  I mean, you just can't find those kinds of questions everywhere.

I am still overwhelmed that I get to be your mom.  I mean, really, its a pretty amazing gig and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Not even in the middle of the night after someone peed their sheets.  {But don't ask me then because I am probably not thinking clearly.}  [And also, those days will soon be far behind us.  Please, Lord, let it be.]

 Franklin, you've discovered that you love to take pictures with mommy's phone.  Like every chance you get.  You are super smart as you figured out how to open the camera without unlocking my phone, which I still don't know how to do.  Its always fun to find the many, many pictures you've taken while I was busy somewhere else.

You still love sweets like nobody's business.  And consistently beat all of us with your speed in eating them.  Its actually quite marvelous to behold.  {However, you have come around with some veggies too. Maybe this year you'll like even more of the green things!}

Lincoln, you still love music.  You cannot {CAN NOT!!} sit still when that salt-n-pepa geico commercial comes on.  No matter what you are doing, your body moves when you hear the beat.  It is adorable.  It's what you do.

You are a sensitive little dude.  You have the biggest heart and it can break pretty easily.  If Franklin is in trouble, you want to help him out.  You never miss a thing, you notice people's feelings as well as every smell everywhere.  Sometimes you point out how people smell, which is something I kinda hope you grow out of.

The two of you are heart-melters without even trying.  You'll defend one another in a split-second, and moments later it appears as though you are fighting to the death.  You each have your own unique qualities, while you still insist on flip-flopping character traits.  One day Lincoln is "the outgoing one" the next day it will be Franklin.  You won't be labeled.  And that is ok. 

I can't begin to imagine what kind of treasures we'll discover in the year to come! 

better is better

Shortly before New Year's I felt myself getting a little excited about setting new goals.

That little excitement was immediately squashed by the resident bully that sometimes gets all bossy-faced in my head.  Do you have a voice like that too?  One that sort of pretends to be on your side while derailing you from good things - by making you feel silly for considering those good things?

Or maybe that's just me?

Thankfully my true-self bossed bossy-face into submission.  My brain is a regular battlefield, folks.

It helped that our co-pastor preached a basic step-by-step sermon about setting goals and it came with a dry-erase magnet for keeping track.  Beyond the goal {or resolution} needs to be a compelling reason.  And then a daily routine to put it into practice.

Brad bought me some fine-tip markers and I filled out my goal tracker.  I even posted a pic on social media for accountability.

And I joined a couple groups on FB to further help with accountability; one group that is tracking our work-outs and another group to help move toward eating clean food. I think both of these fall under the umbrella of better health.

I'm not going to lie. When I read the list of things to cut-out of my diet I wanted to quit.  I mean, like send my friend a message and ask her to take me out of the group.  There was NO WAY I was going to be able to do all that. I think I waited a day before commenting.  It forced me to read up on 'clean eating', and I decided to just choose a few areas to focus on.  Another friend also texted me about some of the changes her family made and how they did it.  She sent me a link to this blog -  100 days of real food.  And I felt like maybe it wasn't impossible after all.

I told her that my new mantra was "better is better."  For example,  if I buy 100% whole wheat bread instead of the regular wheat bread I had been buying, I am making a better choice - and better is better.  But a day earlier I had thought that if I didn't buy bread made with sprouted ancient grains then I might as well just quit.  {In all honestly, I thought I needed to sprout my own grains and make my own bread and if I couldn't commit to that I might as well quit now.}

It seems ridiculous that I could decide not to begin a journey because I might not be perfect the next day.  Doesn't it?

But, I do this.  All the time.  In all sorts of scenarios.  Are you with me?  That bossy-voice will pop up and say, "you'll never be able to get out of the house on time."  Or, "you'll always have to take a walk-break when you run."  And, "you are the worst at scripture-memorization." I'm tired of that bossy-voice, so I determined to adopt #betterisbetter across the board.  I'm going to celebrate the better choices I make and share them with you.  But keep in mind, I'm celebrating my better choices -- the choices that I make that are better than the choices I have made in the past.  This is huge.  This isn't about being better than someone else - the only person I am comparing myself too is the Amanda of the past. Plain and simple.  I prayed over my small goals and believe the small steps will eventually reap good fruit. I keep thinking about what Paul said here in Philippians:

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 12-14 NASB

Yes, I press on.

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For the sake of authenticity, I feel it important to add that I have no idea where my wipe-off goal-tracker thing is.  Our fridge is not magnetic and I have no idea where I had it last.  At least I wrote down goals, I didn't do that last year.  #BetterIsBetter :)

Did you write down any goals? Have any #betterisbetter moments to celebrate?

organizing in the middle of heartbreak

There is this weird twisty part of me that always comes out when I walk out of the foster care office.  One part that wants to just dismiss it and maybe quit coming, another part that wants to have a good cry, and still another part that wants to be angry.

The story often changes, but in a way its always the same.

Yesterday, I went to get some work done, we had made a lot of progress getting things back in order after the mess before Christmas but there were still some things that needed shifted around. I brought a couple clothing rods, Brad's drill, a screwdriver and some high hopes.  I met a friend in the lobby and we headed up to the 5th floor.  The receptionist mentioned that a child had found a toy to play with earlier from the closet.  Its always fun to hear about that sort of thing.

As we discussed where to start one of the caseworkers came by.  She told me about a sibling set that came into care before New Year's.  And they still hadn't found a home for all of them.  They were taking turns sleeping at already-full foster homes.  Almost a week.  Bouncing around from place-to-place after being taken from your only familiar place.  Can you even imagine?  The caseworker asked me to pray hard.  She told me of another incident that was a first in her 21 years, a child had to sleep in a hotel overnight instead of a home.

Y'all.  

Organizing donations seems so meaningless after a conversation like that.  Making shelves neat + orderly while families are split wide open + children are left in the mess, seems senseless. It feels silly almost.

But our time was short, so we got to work. My friend began the inventory while I figured out how to add clothing rods to our new tall shelves.  {An idea that another friend messaged to me via Pinterest a few months ago!} I started measuring for the holes I would need to drill when the receptionist walked in with a little dude, she explained that he was bored with the toy he had chosen earlier and asked if he could pick another.  "Of course he can!" I replied excitedly, with maybe too much giddiness in my voice.    I immediately realized he was one of the sibling set we had just talked about and my heart sunk.  He was spending his day here because he wasn't old enough to go to school like his sibling had.  All day at the government office.  He wouldn't look at me, even after the receptionist tried to have him tell me "thank you." He just kept his head down, eyes to the ground.  I put my pencil down and squatted down to try and make eye contact for a minute.  I told him I hoped he liked the puzzle he picked out. He didn't even shrug.

They walked out and my friend and I chatted briefly about how hard it must be for him.  The air felt heavy as we got back to work.  Without much more conversation, she finished the inventory, while I hung the clothing rods.  As we worked,  I could hear snippets of conversation from the receptionist's desk.  It all felt like too much. We had to unpack the shelves and move hanging clothes, then re-adjust the items on the shelves. The rest of our work was more-or-less a race against the clock to get done before it was time to pick the little guys up from Mom's Morning Out.

We got it done, and I was able to snap a picture of our progress.  It felt good to have something to celebrate after the heaviness of the morning.

I carried around the image of that little boy all day -- his head low, his eyes lower.  When I took this picture of my guys at nap, I couldn't help but wonder if that little dude had a place to nap.

Later I replayed a conversation I had Sunday with a couple in the coffee shop.  We were talking about foster care and some of the state limits on children per bedroom, etc.  The husband said they had room but his wife couldn't do it because it would be too hard to give the kids back.  I tried to acknowledge her feelings while also mentioning that its important to think about what you are giving a child.  She added that she couldn't do it with a dog, let alone a child.  And the conversation ended there.

And I get it.  I so get it.

But there are children that are desperate for a safe place to stay.  Children that stay in different homes each night waiting for a place to go. And there are homes with rooms that sit empty -- empty because it would be too hard for the adults. No matter how earnestly I try, I can't get get past this without a good bawl-fest.

Our churches could change this.  We can change this.

I know its not that simple.  I know the system is a mess.  I know that even if that couple from church decided today that they wanted to foster a child it would be months {MONTHS!} before they could open up their empty rooms. I know all that.

But I also know I saw that little boy with his head hanging low.  And its my job to tell his story.  And pray.  And beg you to pray too.

His story is unfolding all across our country.  And across our country churches are full of folks with empty rooms in their homes.

Y'all we can change this.  So I'll keep going back there.  And I won't let anger or apathy take root, and I'll beg God to keep my heart tender.

I know some of you want to do something today.  You'll pray but you also want to act.  One small thing is helping fill our gaps in the clothing closet.  Here is the most recent list of clothing needs.

We take new clothing as well as shoes, socks, undergarments, diapers, and toiletries. I am always happy to answer any questions you have.  If there is something you might like to donate that I didn't list, ask - it might be just want someone needs!

You might want to do even more.  I'd love to hear about it.

when Christmas feels heavy

On the Monday before Christmas some lists feel impossible.  The weight of it unmeasurable.

Maybe your to-buy list was longer than your budget allows.  And you're anxious about what to do for those last names you've written down.  You feel a little knot inside as you fight the inner battle of heaping guilt on yourself for not planning better and wishing  you had a bigger budget. 

Maybe you are staying with family.  And its tense.  But nobody wants to talk about it because all the talking doesn't bring resolution. Feelings have been hurt by words that were said in the past.  You struggle against guarding your heart so tightly that neither joy nor sorrow can get near you. 

Maybe this Christmas has an uninvited guest.  A diagnosis that holds on to each moment.  Maybe this is your 5th Christmas with that same diagnosis and you flail between resenting that it is still present while rejoicing that you are still beating that nasty disease. 

Maybe you are in an in-between place.  You don't know what is next and you are tired of trying to answer the questions that are repeatedly asked.  You long to hold on to some concrete answers, but all have are open-ended possibilities and no guarantees that they will work out.

Or maybe this Christmas is your first without your loved one.  You are bracing yourself against what might come on that once magical day.  In some ways, you just want to get it over with, and other ways you wish it wouldn't come at all.  You prepare the best you can, knowing full-well that the grief will arrive unannounced and likely forcefully. 
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We struggle days before Christmas with this weight that we would love to just brush aside.  But it is too heavy to get out from under and too near to pretend otherwise.  We clench our fists and dig in our heels, bracing for the whirlwind.

And I wonder.  What was it like in Heaven in the days before our Savior came?  The angels that announced His coming said, "Do not be afraid."  Is it because they were just on the other side of witnessing something terrifying themselves?  Our Savior that came willingly as a helpless infant --He left gleaming perfection for dirty earth.  And heaven watched it unfold.  The words that describe heaven in the Bible leave us wondering, because our earth-words don't come close to capturing all-the-glory we will one day know.

He left Glory for this mess.  For you.  For me.  He sees our hurting places and knows the weight we carry today.  He is with us now.  He is God with us, our Emmanuel.  We can unfurl our fists and relax our guarded hearts.  We can trust that He is enough for all of our to-do-lists and struggling relationships.  He brings victory to the broken places, even before all is well.  He came to be with us for these moments.  So give Him your heart and ask Him to hold it.  Trust Him to make you strong and courageous.  Believe that the angels' message was for you too, "Do not be afraid; for behold I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."

Our Savior has come.  He is with us.  He goes before us.  He carries us through. And even as we continue to trudge through the deep, dark, brokenness we have this hope.  He has walked where we walk and He goes to prepare a place for us.  His love shines in the darkness and promises to bring us home.

a messy curve ball

It has been almost two years since Brad sent an email to our former caseworker asking how we could help support their office.  Almost two years of working in the Foster Care Emergency Clothing/Supply Closet on the 5th floor.  Almost two years of typing up lists of things needed, then celebrating as the items are donated.

There are days that I've wanted to be done with it.  Days when I have wrung my hands because organization is just not my gift.  But God is faithful.  He has sent people to come work with me when it feels too much.  He has brought order to a place that wasn't orderly.  I can't take credit for any of that. So I keep going, because getting to work in there is a privilege.

This week a big curve ball came.  This week is not the week for curve balls, in my opinion.  Curve balls shouldn't come the week of Christmas parties, and travel plans, and last minute runs to the store for One More Gift. God did not ask my opinion though.

I saw the prep-work over the last month or so.  The stick-on baseboard had been peeled from the wall - tearing away parts of the drywall.  The receptionist mentioned last week that they were getting new carpet.  This made me panic a bit.  New carpet means moving EVERYTHING on the floor.  There is A LOT of stuff in that closet. But I was also excited because for almost two years we have talked about some better strategies for organizing in that closet.  Specifically some built-in closet rods for hanging clothes. This would be the perfect time!

I asked if they would let me know when they planned to do the carpet in that room because we would like to do a few upgrades.  She even told me there were some shelves we could have if it would be helpful.  She called me the next day to tell me they had a temporary room picked out to use while awaiting the carpet.  I asked her is she had a time frame, she said no.

Brad and I planned to run in together Tuesday morning to check out this temporary room and figure out how many folks we would need to ask to help us move everything.  Brad ended up having to go to the doctor so I went solo.  I only had a handful of minutes to run in, because I had another meeting on post.

When I walked in the office, I saw that the waiting room had new carpet.  I mentally congratulated whomever chose carpet squares because that is just perfect for the 5th floor. As I waited for the receptionist to come back to her desk, I noticed the hallway had new carpet too.  Someone recognized me and let me into the office, as I stood outside the closet door, I wondered how they got the carpet squares from the hallway under the door to the Emergency Clothing Closet.  For some reason I tried to shove my toe under the door to see if I could feel where the carpet squares ended.

Then the receptionist came around to unlock the closet door and told me, "They put the carpet down last night."

My heart sank.  The room was a wreck.

last week/this week

last week/this week

I could only glance around a minute or two.  There was no place to start. Moving things around now would be senseless.  I knew this job would require help.  And a lot of it.  All I could think was that Christmas was coming and everyone is busy.

When I got down to my car and started driving toward post the tears threatened to spill heavy.  I thought about all the work that would need to be done and wondered where to start.  But that didn't get me choked up.  This is a short-term problem and it will be resolved.  God will send the workers and the funds and it will be better than ever. No doubts.

But I thought about kids that might come in to care this week.  I worried because it would be hard to find what they need in that mess.  Children removed from their homes days before Christmas.  This thought is what triggered the eyes-full-of-tears.  I stopped myself short of a full-on ugly cry.  Mostly because I was driving. I tucked away that thought behind the busy hustle of a Mary Poppins play and tracking down wrapping paper and making dinner.

In the midst of kids mentioning "oh, and I would also like...for Christmas" and parents asking, "did we get everything we needed to?"  There are children getting picked up and taken from their homes through no fault of their own. They ride away with strangers to a building they aren't familiar with and wait to go home with someone they have never met.  And I pray that maybe this year, maybe in our county this year, it won't happen.  But the holidays are some kind of hard with all the magical expectations that are impossible to fulfill and sometimes the weight of it can just make a body break.  And the truth is, the best thing that can happen for some kiddos is to be taken away from all that they know for a time.

And when that happens, I desperately want them to be given a bag, and some new clothes, and a toy to call their own.   

So I need your help.  If you are willing to move around a bunch of stuff, let me know.  If you have installed some really great closet-orgainizer-system-thing that works well, let me know {or if you know someone with this area of expertise, let me know!}  If you love to walk in to a mess and organize that bad boy, let me know.  I need you.  We need you.  We can do this together.  I don't have a firm timeline yet.  I will work around the schedule of whomever can help.  We may be able to carve out some time tomorrow or Monday or we may need to wait until after Christmas. 

So join me?  Pray hard this week for the kids who may face the unimaginable?  Pray that they will be comforted in their brokenness.  Pray that the caseworkers will be able to locate what they need in that mess. 

And pray too, for the ones that are going to willingly take on this messy closet.  We need your prayers.

#GiveHope

A single LEGO by itself is pretty small.  And insignificant.

{although it will pack a powerful punch when hidden in carpet.}

It's amazing what a bunch of small pieces can become when put together.

Each Christmas Russell County DHR requests a wish list from every child in its care, and then attempts to grant these wishes. This year Cora Reid Greene Home for Children is launching “Give Hope” to aid in this mission.

We are collecting new toys, electronics, and clothing items to be donated to Russell County Foster Children as Christmas presents. We’re asking you to partner with us in “Give Hope”, and provide a meaningful Christmas experience for some of the most vulnerable children in our community.

 
Your small gift to The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children's "Give Hope" campaign can become something amazing for kids in foster care this Christmas.  Our small pieces -- our gifts that come in different sizes and shapes -- combine to create something bigger.  A gift to unwrap that says, "you are loved, you are remembered, you matter."  You can donate securely via paypal using this link. 

This is a busy time of year for a lot of people, so if you are thinking about doing it, maybe carve out the 5 minutes now to get it done?  Click here.

If you are local and you would rather do a little shopping yourself, here are the details for drop-off:

Donations will be collected at 1606 5th Ave Phenix City, AL 36867 (Next to Trinity United Methodist Church) starting December 1st. Collection Hours will be 9am-12pm (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), and 1pm-4pm (Tuesday, Thursday). We'll also be opened Saturday December 13 from 10am-12pm to receive donations.

Please contact us at (334) 560-3062 or at helpus@crghome.org for additional information or to schedule an alternate drop off time. All donations are tax deductible.

And this part might feel weird, but if you are on social media, consider following The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/crgh4c
Instagram: http://instagram.com/crgh4c
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CRGH4C

Social media is an incredible instrument for getting the word out to people that may not know about #GiveHope.  It works best when y'all participate in sharing posts, etc!

Tweet, update your status, post instagram pics as you shop and use the hashtag #GiveHope. Retweet, share, and tell your friends!  As always, if you are unable to give today, I get it.  I truly do.  Your prayers are a gift.  Always!

give a little bit {or a lot!}

I had to run in to Target last night to exchange something we had purchased earlier in the day.  Of course, it was from the holiday section so I had to walk across the store.  As I weaved through the aisles and passed-by the endcaps, all I could think was, "This place is a wreak-hole."

Seriously.  It wasn't just a little messy.  Please note, I am not one of those people that is generally put-off by a mess.  It looked like someone asked Lincoln + Franklin to remove everything they could reach from as many shelves as they could in five minutes.  And then try to hide it in a new place nowhere near where it belongs.

{Not my picture, but you get the idea, right?}

Total mess.

I felt so bad for the workers.  I can only imagine how long it must take to re-set it all for the next day.

I wondered if I should stop and fix an endcap.  But I had five guys waiting in the van for me so I thought that might be a good idea that would end horribly. I did however think that if we all tried our best to leave stores neat this season, wouldn't that help with the mess?  Wouldn't the mess be a bit more bearable if all of us did a little bit to help?

And then an idea hit me.

As you know, Brad is working hard to gather donations for foster care kiddos this Christmas season.  The county he works with directly has especially asked that he work toward gathering items for teens in foster care.  Gifts for teens often cost more. . .in homes with already-squeezed-tight-budgets this makes it hard to fulfill those wish lists.  I have read some painfully sad articles this week about what Christmas has been like for some teens in foster care.  They open gifts that are for younger kiddos, knowing no one was thinking of them when it was wrapped.  Or worse, they open nothing.

I want to help.  But our budget is small too.  I feel like the gifts I could buy wouldn't be much more meaningful for the teens either.  I don't want to add to the heartbreak.

But then I walked through that wreak-hole Target last night.  I thought about my not-huge-budget and I know some of you have a similar budget too.  Sometimes we are afraid to give anything because what we'll give feels small.

So instead of holding back, let's just give small.  Let's put things back on the right shelf at Target, and pick that shirt up that fell off the hanger at TJMaxx.  And let's donate toward some bigger gifts for teens.  Your $5 + my $5 plus some of our friends' $5 will eventually be enough to buy a Kindle. And a $100 visa giftcard.  And some Beats.  And an iPod touch.{Please note::  You can absolutely give more than $5!  And you can even give less than $5.  If you can't give today, pray!}

So my challenge to you today is to give small.  Give your little bit.  Watch it add up and we can all celebrate together.  Let's do this together.  Let's lock arms and let go of expectations of buying the best gift and instead give the best we can together.

You can click here and safely donate specifically toward Christmas gifts for our local foster care kiddos. 

{And let's smile genuinely at those store employees every single time we run out this season.}

If you aren't already following The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children on social media, here are the links.

The Cora Reid Greene Home for Children

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/crgh4c
Instagram: http://instagram.com/crgh4c
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CRGH4C

Share any + every post on your social media pages.  The more the merrier!  I will post updates of total gifts we receive so you can see how it adds up!

multiply your spending power

In my National Adoption Month post, I promised to make a list of places you can shop + see your purchase multiplied as it benefits children in crisis.  Christmas feels like a great time to spread some of that purchase power around.  I know its not always practical to purchase items like this for people on your list, so don't really consider this as a gift-buying guide, although it would be nice if it works out that way for you!

I feel like I might first need to let you know something important.  There are a lot of children in orphanages with living parents. They are called 'poverty orphans' by some.  The children are placed in an orphanage because the birth mother/family feel like they cannot provide for their basic needs.  The parent(s) believe the child has a better chance to survive in an orphanage rather than in their arms. This is unimaginable for a North American birth mother, I know, but before you throw your rocks - open up your heart. These parents make an excruciatingly difficult decision because they feel like there is no other option. By spending your money differently, you can help provide some options.

I am passionate about this and over the course of a few years we have slowly been making changes in our purchase patterns.  We are still slowly making changes, even if you just choose to buy one thing from an alternate source this year, it matters.   Most of the time, these items cost a bit more than if you just picked something up at Wal-mart -- which is why it has been a long, slow process for us to make changes.  However, an added benefit of shopping with intention is that you whittle away some of that constant feeling of not having enough.  When you carefully shop and select products that benefit someone's entire family, it reminds you of how much you truly have. Honestly, even those of us on tight budgets have fairly fat closets compared to most of the world.

For us, it started with coffee.  I have written about it here before, so I won't go in to too much detail.  We drink coffee every single day, so we felt it was important to know that the people that grow our coffee are given a fair wage. When farmers receive a fair wage, they are able to provide for their families safely and with dignity.  This is a small change that makes a big difference. {and I am certain the coffee is better!}  Currently, we buy our coffee from Land of a Thousand Hills Coffee Co which provides life-changing work for communities in Rwanda.  That is a pretty big benefit just from switching coffees!

Land of a Thousand Hills slogan sticker

From there, it moved to accessories.  There are so many options for purchasing accessories.  I have a few scarves from fashionABLE and I love them.  Of course, they cost more than a scarf you'll find at Wal-Mart or Target, but they come with a handwritten note from the woman that made them.  I am OK with having fewer scarf options, knowing that the scarves I wear have made a big difference in the life of someone else.  It is the same with jewelry and handbags. I have a bag from Freeset and a bag from JOYN, they are well-made and I get compliments on them.  They aren't cheap, but the money I spent on them helps a mother provide for her family or helps a victim regain dignity through work.  That matters.  I have jewelry from 147Million Orphans, Bead For Life, and the ApParent Project.  All of it has been worn for years and I always get compliments on it. Always. It is unique and often one-of-a-kind.  It reminds me every time I wear it that my small choice can make a big difference. 

cuff bracelet from 147 million orphans

One of my favorite make-a-difference-purchases has been my Sseko sandals.  I really adore this company and their passion for empowering women in Uganda.  Every graduate from their classes has gone on to university.  That is huge in their country.  Once when I posted a link for Sseko Tie Sandals on FB someone commented that they were "pricey."  And I get it, I do.  They are the most expensive sandals I have ever bought myself - {a clue to our budget}.  They are so worth it, though.  I have had them for two years and they show no signs of falling apart.  Plus I can purchase new ribbons and accessories quite inexpensively.  They are the absolute best shoe to pack on trips {in the summer!}  They are comfortable enough to wear all day and can be styled to wear to a wedding or a day at the park.

ssekos in the family pic!

Recently, I signed up for a monthly box from Fair Trade Friday - a perk of ditching my iPhone and its expensive contract!  You can also purchase one-time boxes which I think would make awesome gifts!  100% of the proceeds from each box goes to the empowerment of impoverished women as an avenue to introduce them to the Gospel. Pretty great return on investment there!  Everything in the boxes comes with a tag stating where it was made, and often has the artisan's name on it.  Also the items are packaged in such a way that they could easily be re-gifted.  Win, win!

see all the awesome in one box??

Unfortunately, I am not super smart with tech stuff, so I only know how to add links through words.  Someday I might learn how to embed them right into the post, but for now, I thought a link to my pinterest board with all of the above websites (as well as a few others) would be the easiest way to allow you to browse around.  You can click on it, and it will take you right to it.   If you ever have any questions whatsoever, please do not hesitate to ask!     Follow Amanda's board shop with a purpose on Pinterest.
 

National Adoption Month

National Adoption Month.

By now, surely you know this is a thing.  Right?

Remember I wrote it about it here?  And reposted it last year.

I wanted to refresh the post a bit today.  There is a big push this year to #FlipTheScript for National Adoption Month.  In some ways, I get it; but in other ways I just want to get people to know there is a script at all.  I am desperate for folks to know there are ways to be involved in the arena of adoption and orphan care without ever adopting.  My agenda will never ever involve convincing someone to adopt.  Never ever.  {And I know they say never say never and songs have been written about it but still, I think its safe to say that is not my job.}  [I found this article yesterday after writing this part of the post.  I think it is lovely.  Warning, there are some curse words so if that will turn you off to the whole thing do not click through.  It is honest and true and touches on the variables of adoption and the discussions around it so very well. Click here to read it.]

So I'll start with this. . . Technically, National Adoption Month began as a campaign to recruit folks to adopt via foster care, I think.  However, it has become a much bigger conversation starter. There is so much more to orphan care than just adoption.  Obviously adoption is an important part of it, but adoption alone leaves gaping holes in the lives of vulnerable children.  And every adoption story begins with great loss, and that great loss can be carried for a lifetime. Keep that in mind always.

So what can you do?  Here are some ideas:

1.  Pray for an adoptive family/foster family.  Do you have friends that are adopting?  Do you know someone that is waiting?  Pray for them.  Often.   Pray that their hearts would be encouraged as their soon-to-be child(ren) wait.  Pray for hope in the heart of that waiting child.  Maybe take it a step further and send them a note telling them you are praying?

2.  Encourage an adoptive family/foster family.  This could work either pre- or post-adoption.  Send a gift card for dinner out.  Celebrate with them! Throw a shower! One friend handed me a wordless book at PWOC one week for "our child," this was months before we got 'the call.'  This simple gesture reminded me that I wasn't waiting alone. 

3.  Pray for a waiting child.  This will require bravery.  Look at your state's photolisting.  Find a child with whatever parameters you choose and pray hard.  The children listed here are legally-free for adoption which means the parental rights of their birth parents have been terminated.  You can find the listing by clicking here.  Pray for the just-right family to open their home to him/her.

4.  Support family preservation by sponsoring a child.  This is critical.  We can change things dramatically by starting here.  There are many places that do this well.  We sponsor through Compassion International.  They are just one of many that do this effectively within the local communities via local leaders. Sponsoring a child allows that child and his family to have basic needs met.  This alleviates some of the tension these families face which then allows the children to get an education. An education opens doors that wouldn't normally be opened for these children. Sponsorship is a long-term commitment with long-range outcomes. Research an organization to ensure you want to partner with them for the long haul.

5. Pray for foster care programs that are starting in other countries.  Yes, our foster care system needs work, but when done well it serves a good purpose.  Some parts of the world are just starting to build foster care programs.  Pray earnestly for them. I have friends on the ground in Guatemala that are ministering alongside a foster care start up.  You can click here to learn more about it.

6. Help your local foster care office.  We had an 'in' with our local office so I was able to find out quickly how we could help.  Their immediate need was getting that emergency clothing closet up and running.  Other offices may have other needs.  I surely appreciate every single thing that has been sent to us for our local office.  But if you have been itching to do something local - now is the the time. If nobody calls you back (because they might not, they are busy folks) then you march down there with a Wal-mart gift card and a few backpacks or warm hats or something.  Attach a note that says you want to help support their office, tell them you bought the gift card so the caseworkers could get things for children that come into care.  Ask them to contact you about how else you can help. Also, maybe mention that you appreciate their hard work on behalf of children.  They will call you back or email you shortly.

7. Read. I still highly recommend Orphan Justice and Adopted for Life as good starting points.

8. Shop Smarter. This is huge.  The dollars we spend at this time of year can potentially multiply if we spend wisely.  I am going to make a list of places to shop in the next day or two.  I will link to it from here when I finish.  Promise.  Here it is! Click here.

Thanks for reading this far, I know it is a lot of information.  And really just the very tip of the iceberg.  Adoption has forever changed me, but not because it is a real-life fairy tale.  My faith has been stretched in the waiting and in the loving and in the day-to-day.  My heart has been softened to the struggles of children that carry so much weight on their shoulders.  My perspective has changed about our government agencies that have been tasked to play the role of 'guardian' for children.  I am burdened for the Church to know the many ways they can support children in crisis and then to act.

If you aren't sure about how you can get involved, feel free to ask.  I would love to chat with you more about it.  The need is great, the opportunities are vast, and our God is able.

For the love of Christmas

So I am working on a National Adoption Month post that is morphing into a big, long link list that will need to be broken into separate organized posts. . .which cannot be done while the dudes are awake.  So it will wait.

But this, I feel cannot wait.

I stumbled upon a bunch of lists for "Elf Alternatives" yesterday.  And the absurdity of it just hasn't left me.  The online Christmas wars give me a lump in my stomach.

There are a million ways to celebrate Christmas.  Can we just be confident that the way our friends choose to do it is best for their family?  Can we trust that our decisions for our own family are good and not feel defensive about them?

I really do not care if you elf or not.  I don't think 'elfing' makes you a more fun parent nor do I think 'not elfing' makes you a better Christian. {Yes, I made 'elfing' a verb.} If you copy and paste someone else's elf ideas I do not criticize you for not being creative.  If you dream up 25 over-the-top-out-of-the-box elf schemes I will not accuse you of having too much time on your hands. Promise.

Let's give space for our friends to do Christmas the way that works for them + their people and not throw rocks if it looks radically different from our own Christmas traditions.

If a friend laments about needing to find one-more-gift for her sister-in-law, rather than launch into the story of how your family just draws names, look her in the eye and tell her you hope she finds the just-right-gift-in-her-budget + without a lot of stress. This will be a gift to her.

While in the check-out line, turn off your cell phone.  Put it in your pocket or your purse and make eye contact. If the store clerk tells you "Happy Holidays," you smile warmly and tell him that you hope his shift is full of the kindest customers.  This will be a gift to him.

If you hear someone say that they hate Christmas music. Don't shut them down by telling them about how you listen to it year round. Ask them why.  There might be a whole lot of heaviness behind that statement and finding a safe place to unload it might just be the best thing for this person. It will likely be a gift.

While scrolling through FB, if you see a picture of a child with Santa, tell them how precious that child is rather than mentioning that you choose to keep Christ in Christmas and therefore lock Santa out. Also, if a friend shows her nativity set online, please refrain from criticizing how many wise men she has there - or the fact that they are there.  {Believe it or not a lot of us have FB friends that aren't Christians and the online bickering about our differences is weird + confusing.  And also ugly.} Be kind, this will be a gift to your FB friends' friends. 

Now hear me on this, if your friends are posting about all the Random Acts of Kindness they are doing, or if you see pictures of these advent activities that make you whither a little inside because of their grand scale, break out some Taylor Swift and 'shake it off.'  Decide not to judge the people that choose more elaborate plans than you, rather give yourself grace and trust that you are choosing just-right for your people.

Of the millions of ways to do Christmas, the most important one is to see people where they are and give them some love.  Celebrate the ways that we do it differently.  Make eye contact, linger long in conversation. Ask about your friends' traditions. Pray for the things that stress your friends out - even if you have chosen to unload those things so you won't be stressed. Look for ways to be a gift to someone else.  Refrain from posting articles that condemn other people's Christmas traditions. {Please for the love, refrain!}

It isn't as complicated as we tend to make it. Love God. Love people. Especially at Christmas.

"He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39

balloons

Have you ever watched a child with a helium balloon?  Sometimes I forget how much bang you get for your buck with balloons.  My boys love them.  They potentially bring delight for hours (days if you pay for that extra stuff they spray in them!)

I have to say 'potentially' though, because there is a little bit of a dance we need to do when we get balloons.  It involves trust and what seems a bit like loss of control.  If the boys let Brad and I tie the ribbon around their wrists, the potential for fun increases dramatically.  There have been a handful of times that one of our sons has refused to have his balloon tied to his wrist.  This usually leads to wailing and gnashing of teeth moments later when the balloon floats away to the clouds.  Usually that same son will be the first one to have his balloon tied to his wrist the next time balloons are around.  Sometimes, though, he'll still be afraid of losing his balloon so he'll hold the ribbon tightly anyway.  Or worse, he'll clutch it tightly to his body, which greatly decreases the fun potential.  This strategy can backfire instantly when the balloon pops under pressure.  Again with the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

If our boys trust us to tie their balloons to their wrists - and also trust that the knots we tie will hold - then they can fully enjoy their balloons.  They run freely across the yard and watch their balloon dance behind them.  The balloon can follow along on a bike ride or up the steps at the playground and zoom down the slide.  Sometimes they'll just sit and watch their balloon float lightly above them swaying in the breeze.  It is crazy how much delight this brings the boys.  Of course, when they are delighted so are we.  It might be as fun to watch them play as it is for them to actually play.

It starts with trust though.  And what feels a bit like loss of control.

Isn't that the way it is with us too?  When God gives us a gift, something He knows will bring us delight?  If we cling tightly to it and don't trust Him with it, we risk losing it immediately.  Sometimes we trust Him a little bit, we tell Him we trust Him but our actions don't send the same message.  We smother our gift for fear of losing it.  Or we hold it so close that we aren't really free to enjoy it.   But if we really trust Him?  If we allow both hands to be open and believe the way He gives it and the way He secures it is best?  Then we are wide open to delight, to run free and laugh and climb high and sit still.  Whatever we choose, if we have trusted Him freely, we are free to delight.  Not only does this bring delight to our Father, but those around us can't help but smile at the scene too.

brilliance

The fall colors in Ga-Bama this year are breath-taking.  I am certain they are the best I have seen since living here.  Brad said it too, and he is not one to throw around "best ever."  That's more my thing.

In the past I would see one or two trees worth noting and then a handful of leaves scattered here and there that are colorful.  But this year I am wanting to snap little pics everywhere I look.  Its a fun surprise.  God is such a creative artist.  {And we are made in His image, so what does that make us?}

One morning as I was running I thought to myself how great it would be to collect a bunch of these leaves for decorations for our fall retreat.  Of course, Brad pointed out that the colors won't last because the leaves are dying. 

And I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

The colors are so vivid right before they die. Their brilliance is most radiant proceeding death.

And this year even more so.  I am not a chemist but I think it has to do with the cold snap that rushed in over night.  Since then we've had cooler-nights combined with still-hot-days. 

I know I am not a leaf or a tree, but here's the thing, I want to live a vivid life.  As we shift in different seasons of our life, I don't want to slowly fade away like the leaves usually do around here.  Even if that means circumstances have to jolt me to brilliance, like the cold-snap that snuck in.  I want to be OK with the unpredictable -- if that is what makes my life brilliant so be it. 

Of course, there is more at stake than dressing in layers to accommodate for the cool starts and the high-heat afternoons.  Much more at stake.  But the brilliance I long for is infinitely better too.  This brilliance is the kind that lights up and points out God's glory.  I shine because of His work in me.  I am most brilliant when I allow Him to work creatively through my circumstances, unpredictably and without barriers.

When I lay down my boundary lines and I let loose of conditional agreements then I am able to freely shine His light as He accomplishes His good work in me. There will be struggles, there will be set-backs and there will be trials.  The brilliance will shine all the brighter as a result.

"The Scriptures say, “God commanded light to shine in the dark.” Now God is shining in our hearts to let you know that his glory is seen in Jesus Christ.  We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us. We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don’t know what to do, we never give up." 2 Corinthians 4:6-8 CEV