things to remember...

{This time is going so fast and my free moments are few... thought I should take a minute to write down some of the highlights that I'll want to remember...}

• For Spring Break, I asked the big boys what "one thing" they wanted to do during the week.  Wilson said, "have cinnamon rolls for breakfast."  Walker said, "go see the Muppet Movie at church."  I am happy to report that both boys got to check their "one thing" off the list!  Thankful that God has blessed us with such amazing boys that are easily thrilled with simple pleasures. {There were also LOTS of video games during spring break.}
• Wils was reading The Diary of Anne Frank this week.  It's been years since I've read it and I couldn't remember if it would be heavy so I was asking a lot of questions to check-in with him about it... At one point he said "it's a lot like Diary of a Wimpy Kid."  I couldn't help but laugh, he then clarified that its written like a diary, not that the story line is similar ;)
• The babies have overcome their fear of walking on concrete and grass.  Unless its hot, then they cry if they are barefoot on the concrete.  The only time they keep their flip-flops on is when the patio is hot!
• It is astonishing how many people make comments about twins.  I can't help but wonder if I have randomly stopped strangers in the past to ask if their children were twins.  I don't think I have. And when we were at the zoo last week, Brad and I just overheard every other person walking by saying, "awe twins!"  or something like that... nothing negative, well, I guess "double trouble!" could be considered negative, but mostly its just A LOT of comments. A. LOT. (We are tickled by the people that then ask if Wilson and Walker are also twins...???)
• While out shopping I must always be aware of the babies' little hands, they are quick grabbers.  At the commissary last week, M grabbed a cart handle and dragged it into the owner's gut as we were passing.  I did not notice until impact, and had to apologize for my super strong baby.  He was rather surprised, as was I.  
• The babies love almost every breakfast food.  And hate a lot of vegetables right now.  Walker likes that they enjoy his favorite breakfast food, oats!
• I've been making a lot of afternoon smoothies... all four boys love them.  I don't know why but it seems like less effort to make them for four boys than for two.  Was I really that lazy before?  Or is it the bang-for-the-buck factor?  A few minutes of work for 4 healthy snacks?  
• I have a new appreciation for people that update their facebook status about what they accomplished around the house. I couldn't believe how pleased I was with myself after vacuuming the living room yesterday.  
• When the babies are talking about Muskoka it sounds an awful lot like "mama".  I'm not a big fan of this... so one night at dinner we all tried to get them to say "Koka" instead of "muh muh."  We kept repeating it and finally they said, "Duh duh."  I was happy with this new sound for her name.  "Dada" on the other hand wasn't impressed.  No worries, they've since regressed back to "muh muh."  
• Walker loves to read to the babies.  Although he does get a bit frustrated when they try to pry the book from his hands so they can chew on it.
• And sorry dad, I know you'll hate this part.  But if one of the babies toots in his high chair, the big boys and the babies (and maybe me too and sometimes even Brad) laugh super hard.  And then the tooter often tries to recreate the sound with his mouth.  Or his brother will try.  Or both.
• The babies still get a bottle each night.  GASP!  A breastfeeding-mama-friend of mine gave me a little pep talk about how she nursed her girls past 12 months and that if its something soothing for the babies I shouldn't feel bad about continuing with the bottle.  So we are.  Its an integral part of their bedtime routine.

and finally... this treasure.  I don't think I could ever forget it, but just in case...

a few weeks ago my friend Jenn posted this song on my FB wall.  I tried to convince Brad that it could be "our song."  [He is always rejecting my love song suggestions though.]  Walker liked it though and I added it to my playlist right away.  This was back when the babies were still going back and forth almost daily, so they heard my playlist in the car every day.  And often during the day at home too.  One day as we were driving I realized they were "mmm"ing along with the song.  We did some dancing at home too.  We've had full-family slow dances to this sweet song.  Wilson even pulls Muskoka into the fun.  Walker jumps on the ottoman to dance with me or Daddy and whichever brother we're holding. The other night, M actually asked for it before bed, pointing at the TV and saying "mmm."  Seriously, when they hear it, they both immediately relax.  They often put their arms up to have us pick them up and dance.  They love it.  We all do.  So, I guess its our family love song.  

grateful

... for an amazing husband.
... for big boys that are easily satisfied.
... for friends I don't deserve.
... for texts to let me know our family is being prayed for.
... for a freezer full of food.
... for a super-fat grocery budget envelope.
... for a dresser full of 18-24 month clothes.
... for an email inbox with prayers for our family.
... for a text that says, "I have stuff in my trunk for you."
... for phone calls to encourage, and check in, and celebrate God's goodness.
... for an unopened box of diapers and refill pack of wipes.
... for crib sheets & mattress pads ready to be put on cribs.
... for MSU basketball and the happy cheers it brought to our Sunday afternoon.
... for blooming magnolia tree's and yellow pollen - the promise that spring is near.

..for a God that has given me promises in His word and tangible reminders of their truth through this list and so many other things.  He goes above and beyond in reassuring me that He has got this.  I can trust Him.  Always.

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."  James 1:17

someday

much better week.

as I type, two babies are napping - in their room - at the same time.  and I think its been an hour or so!  progress!

so I am trying to be super duper quiet and also be nearby the door in case one baby wakes.  what else can I do but fiddle around online?  right?

On one of our first daytime visits at our house.  Baby T fell asleep in his pack-n-play and Baby M had NOTHING to do with napping.  I brought him downstairs and he stumbled around a bit.  He asked for 'Ma" and I knew he didn't mean me.  He was so tired.  And I was so clueless as to how to help him or comfort him.

Eventually he did fall asleep.  It wasn't a hallmark movie by any stretch of the imagination.  It was awkward and clumsy, but in the end sleep came.

As I held his sleeping body he would periodically take those long, deep, shuttering breaths - the kind that come after hard-crying.  My mind pondered this process.  What his little brain must be thinking of this new house and this new lady- with some nasally-northern-accent.  God met me in a time of prayer, and I had peace.  But my mind continued to wander around a bit; thinking of the enormous process ahead of us.

And because our God is good, and faithful, and knows my heart so intimately; He brought a song to mind.  Not one that wraps deeply around your soul so much, but one that totally encouraged my heart in a more humorous way.

Technically, its a love song... about the "friend" that you really wish was "more than a friend." Yet somehow, in His infinite wisdom, and creative loving way; God reminded me of this sweet song. As I held that sleeping baby, these lyrics brought a smile to my face and deep, knowing peace to my heart...

Our love is slow and easy, 

But you don't even know it, 

Well I've got nothing but time, 

For you to recognize it. 

Someday, I will hold you as my own. 

Someday, you will know that I am the only one for you. 

That's right baby, our love is slow and easy - and you don't even know it yet. But I know it. And God knows it. And you will know it sooner or later, sweetie pie. You will know it too - someday.

going batty

Wilson had a special cub scout event yesterday. It was at Oxbow Meadows; we've been through there many times on the River Trail, but hadn't ever gone inside. Anyway, his den leader had arranged for the boys to build bat boxes.  I think Home Depot donated the materials so each scout could build a bat box... of course, it was a Daddy-work-day, so I had to assist with the build.  Well, some other dads came and helped too...

He looks like a pro with the caulk gun, huh?

He had to "rough up" the inside of the bat box some, so the bats could use their little claws to climb around. I am pretty sure Walker is barking some orders to Wilson in this picture...

We didn't bring Daddy's drill so there was a fair amount of elbow grease involved, especially with the short-handled-screwdriver Wilson chose. Thankfully, someone pre-drilled the holes for us...

and here he is with his finished bat box. it was too big of a bother to actually look at the camera... ;)

and the whole cute den. love that they pose with the caulk guns like they are weapons. 

 

It was a lovely day. The boys and I spent some time looking around the center after the build. We found one aquarium FULL of tiny turtles. Then we stayed and watched the turtles at the outside water feature for awhile too. I think Wilson counted 17 turtles. It was peaceful and slow-paced and exactly what we needed yesterday. It was a bummer Daddy had to work.

brokenness aside

yesterday was not a good day.

 it was hard.

 babies did not nap. when they did fall asleep, a little cough woke them up. a dog collar shaking would startle. shutting the baby gate was like firing off a round.

sleep would not come for them at our home yesterday.

brad and i felt powerless to be of any comfort or help. we were short with one another and harsh with the bigger boys. feelings were hurt.

it wasn't pretty.

somehow, the babies were rather happy and energetic by the end of the day. big boys chased and giggled and peek-a-booed. we packed up to head to the foster home.

driving 15 mph in our neighborhood, we hit a black lab.

i saw her just before we hit.

babies screamed. big boys whispered about what had happened from the far-back seat.

dog owner jumped out of the vehicle behind us as the dog ran behind houses. he cursed at her stupidity.

babies screamed on. big boys kept whispering. daddy checked the bumper.

dog owner jumped back into his vehicle and sped off.  no idea where that black lab ran off to.  we had to file a report at the MP station.

as we drove across post to the MP station, I had to call to let the foster parents know we'd be later than planned.  babies babbled while i talked on the phone.

the car was quiet... this song came on the radio. the words wrapped around me.

i thought of our {not-yet-ours} babies riding in our car; of other babies waiting for forever families.  i wondered about the the family that owned this stupid dog, and the hard choices that they might be making.  thoughts wandered to my friend who had to say good-bye to her deploying husband last night. my eyes welled. there is so much brokenness.




and somehow, He takes brokenness aside and makes it beautiful. it is a mystery to me. i am captivated. even in the middle of hard.

the view from here

Wow. 

Such a little word, that could mean so many things.  We've been matched!  Faithful God has overwhelmed us with the surprise of TWIN one-year-olds.  Never would I have predicted this one.  Never.

Y'all, I've got so many directions that I could go with this story.  But not nearly the time to do any of that well.  I've got a long to-do list.  ;)

I know that many of you pray for our family and might be wondering how you can do that well right now.  So I want to at least fill you in on a few of the details.  We were matched in mid-January.  It didn't seem right to put it out there right away... I'm sure you've heard some of the same horror stories I have when it comes to adopting from foster care.  It might've been fear that kept us from blabbing the news all willy-nilly.

Or it might've been wisdom; giving ourselves time to settle in to the idea before inviting all of the "OH MY WORD! CAN YOU REALLY HANDLE TWINS?" types-of-questions.  (You know you've got a list, right?)

Nonetheless, the word is out.  Twin boys.  Yes indeed.

But the process is far from over.  And because of that, I will not be publicly posting their names or faces anywhere.  But I will tell you this - their faces?  They are scrumptious.  As are their toes.  Which I might post a picture of soon.:)

So the rundown.  We've met them.  All of us.  And the big brothers approve.  The big dog is still unsettled about the baby gate.  They've been to our house a few times (which is why we have a baby gate!)  They are in the greatest possible foster home.  They have been loved well by a family that has known they would be going on to a forever family someday.  We are so grateful.  Words fail to describe the importance of this foster family in this scenario.  Invaluable is understating it.

Moving forward, we'll continue with daytime visits 3x weekly.  I do not know how long this schedule will last.  It might be awhile.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated during this transitional time.  Originally the target date was the end of February for them to be home.

However, there are circumstances outside of our case that are preventing forward progress.  I call it "fallen world frailty."  Satan would like to call it victory.  But I am no fool, and I do not believe those lies.  I know our God is creating something beautiful even in this carved-out pause.  He is amazing like that. Always.


In the meantime, I'm enjoying this new view. 

 

We're celebrating the little things.  Like happy giggles when the big yellow buses bring big brothers home.  And open arms when Daddy walks through the doorway.  We're savoring the smell of baby lotion, and buying stock in Huggies.  We are reveling in the fact that mommy has two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.   

We are breathing deeply of the place where God has led us, slowed down enough to really let it rest in our souls.  Trusting Him to surprise us with the way He works out details that threaten to overwhelm. We are walking with Him, day by day.  Believing His promises to be solid and unwavering.

I shouldn't be the least bit surprised that my Bible study led me to this passage, this week...

"A Father for the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in His holy habitation.  God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land."  

Psalm 68:5-6

toes on the edge

I've been trying to think of a way to describe this place we are in. Wondering about how to invite you to pray with us.  I fall asleep thinking about it... and wake up thinking about it.  After waiting {what seems like} so long; could it really be time for the next step?

I thought maybe this is like bungee jumping... not that I ever have, and certainly have no desire to ever try... 

But I imagine you have to sign your life away on the paperwork that has lots of legal jargon and a bit about "YOU MIGHT DIE."  You most likely have to sit through a class or a video to tell you about various aspects of the procedures.  You probably even have to have a mini-physical to make sure you are healthy enough for this risky-crazy-thing.

Then I imagine you suit up with all the gear, you get strapped in and double check all the latches.  You wonder if the harness makes your rear look ridiculous, but only linger on that thought a second because really, you aren't doing this without the proper equipment.

I'm guessing the next step is climbing a lot of stairs.  Maybe fancy places have elevators, but I'm picturing a lot of stairs.

Like a lot.

Like, you have to lean over and catch your breath a few times from climbing all those stairs with all that gear on.  You hear each step you take clang on the metal grates.  Your gear rattles all along the way.  You need encouragement to make yourself continue up and up and up.  You notice you've slowed your pace considerably from those first few flights.  But you keep on keeping on.  Your thighs are begging you to stop climbing.  But you don't; you've got your eyes on the prize.

And after the climb you are on the platform at the top.  All the stairs are behind you.  But the heavy breathing remains.

The fatigue of climbing the stairs and catching your breath is dwarfed with enormity of the jump that is coming.  They are rechecking all of the equipment at the jumping off point.  You've got a handful of moments on this platform to reflect.  You wonder about others that have been on this high-on-the-top-platform-place.  You recall briefly the words they used to describe their platform feelings. 

You look at the view and you catch glimpses of beauty you never knew was there.  If you hadn't signed the paper, put on the gear, and climbed all those stairs this beauty wouldn't be visible.  Its a by-product of the main goal but its a beauty you won't soon forget.

And somewhere underneath the satisfaction of absorbing the beauty and being one of the few to sign up to do this thing; is a rising, unnerving sensation of fear mixed with adrenaline mixed with nausea mixed with a crazy-bold-love-of-adventure.  And its almost your turn to get clipped in and put your toes on the edge of the platform.  Almost your turn to jump.

Yep.  That is kinda how I am feeling this morning.  Almost our turn.  But the analogy is lacking because the bungee-jump is over quickly - again, never have, most likely never will; but it seems to go quickly - and adoption is forever.  Adoption is a calling and bungee-jumping is a tourist attraction.  I know that.  I do.

But there is no way to minimize this sensation of waiting our turn on the platform.  We've seen the beauty.  We marvel at the others that have gone before us.  Bravely.  We've heard their screams mixed with joy and overwhelming calls for help from our Father. 

So we are waiting to get clipped in.  We are waiting to put our toes on the edge of the platform.

We are talking at the dinner table as a family about our coming jump.  It is beautiful.  And scary.  And exhilarating.  And exactly where our Father has called us to be.

Will you join us in prayer on the platform this week?  Whatever aspect of adoption that pops into your mind pray about it.  For us.  For the others with us.  For those considering it.  For the children waiting.  For the beautiful caregivers that choose to stand in that in-between place with those children that wait.

"The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.  Brothers and sisters, pray for us."  1 Thessalonians 5:24-25

(I will post details when details seem appropriate.  I've never done this before and prefer to error on the side of caution when it comes to detail-sharing.)

2011 highlight reel

Oh my. This year has been full of blessings!  The one thing I miss about NOT sending out a Christmas card is that I don't do the mental-year-in-review if I don't have to write that letter.  You miss a lot if you don't look back.  So I'm trying to start out 2012 with an intentional look back at all the good things we encountered this past year.  And also a bit of quiet time to look ahead at what God has planned.  As I looked back this morning, I realized that I became horrible at taking pictures after Brad got me the iPhone... or at least horrible about updating this blog with pictures since then.  Most of these will be familiar to you...

What a thrill the Got Goat? campaign was!  We're so honored to have been able to do this as a family... prayerfully considering what might be next!

A getaway for the two of us!  It was wonderful; I hope its something we can do again - SOON!

Great grandparents visited!  Loved it!  We got to see them again in September at Uncle Steve's... which helped a little since we missed them while we were in MI this year.

Family bonding around the new dining chairs, with Yaya's help.  Fun memories!

The beach!  Loved our Spring Break getaway!

Linds and Ari came for a quick trip!  Don't forget - Spring Break is coming up... book your reservations soon ;)

The boys at Rangers in Action this summer.... if you don't make Spring Break reservations, but you want to visit, try and time it with a Rangers in Action Demonstration - so awesome!

The Peachtree 10K.  What a fun weekend with an awesome family!

Back to school time!  Momma was tearful at this point, remember?  Walker's first day!

Cub scouts!  Being an assistant den leader this year has been lots of fun... looks like it, right?

This is one of my favorite pictures that Emily took in November.  Captures the moment so perfectly!

Wilson and Breeze at Thanksgiving.  It was such fun!

Marathon Man.  Still brimming with pride over this milestone!

Walker loves some of the features on my iPhone; he's especially fond of self-portraits with rainbow options. 

All for now.  Hope you liked the look back as much as I did ;)

fairy tale

We got to get all fancy last night.  The handsome prince and I went to the 4th Ranger Training Battalion Ball.  It was pretty fun and I fared well in my {SUPER} high heels.  The only mishap was when I was in the buffet line and my earring fell into the broccoli cheese casserole.  Oops!  I think maybe Brad and I were the only ones that noticed.  I scooped it onto my plate.  ;) 

Happy Thanksgiving! {a few days late}

We kicked off our Thanksgiving week with a walk through the lights at Callaway Gardens. Once a year they allow pedestrians to walk the 6.2 miles through the lights and the proceeds from ticket sales go to the March of Dimes.

We traveled this year for Thanksgiving.  Which is a first for us since moving from MI.  We went up to visit Bryan & Emily and David, Casey & Breeze.  We had the added bonus of seeing Ben too, because he rode down with Casey's dad for the weekend! I seriously only took my camera out one time while we were with them...  I got a picture of Wilson with Breeze.  He had been wanting to hold Breeze all day and finally the time was right.  He LOVED it so much.  How adorable is Breeze?  Emily did take some AWESOME family pictures.  You can click here to see them.  (I'll probably post some here eventually, but it might be awhile!)

I also got a chance to go visit our friend, Kelley and their little guy John Buckley. It was awesome to get to see him... and I actually got to hold him too. It was amazing to hold that itty-bitty miracle in my arms. If you think of it, please keep him in your prayers. Specifically pray that he would outgrow his apnea problems.

And here's my sweet friend, Kelley taking his temperature. Please keep praying for her too; for strength for each day, and rest each night.

And, you know a Thanksgiving post would not be complete without our Turkey! Thank you for sending your feathers back! The boys LOVE this tradition so very much!

We have so very much to be thankful for!  We are blessed with immeasurably more than we could ever need.

26.2

Here are some pictures of the Soldier Marathon. The boys and I were able to see Brad 7 times along the route. There were 1200 runners but less than half of them did the full marathon.

This picture is close to mile 21... the boys decided to give daddy fives to help him finish strong.Here's our runner entering Uptown Columbus... I think this might have been about mile 15. It was a very, very beautiful day.
This is Brad passing us on his way out (the fives picture above is on the way back). My best guess is mile 12 or so. The course wasn't out-and-back, some parts were repeats and some weren't. We were the only spectators at this little spot.
And here he is running to the finish line. Can you see his escort? Wilson has had a runner's high since his run the night before. He was determined to run the last leg with Brad. He actually asked if he could run the last mile, but I had no idea where that would've been so he just ran in the last little bit down the avenue of flags at the National Infantry Museum.
Brad finished his first marathon in 4 hours and 48 minutes. We are so proud of him. He's begun talking about when the next one will be... it did take a couple days for him to start talking about that. ;)

kids' marathon

Wilson has been logging miles since September so he could compete in the first annual Kids Soldier Marathon.  He was running 3-4 times a week so he could log all 25.2 miles.  He didn't always want to run, but he determined to finish what he signed up for.  He took turns running with either Brad or I, and usually ran between a half mile to a mile... alternating running & walking.  The day of his race, Wilson's goal was "to not be last."  We talked about maybe having a target pace of 12 minutes.  He had run/walked a mile with Brad at close to 12 minutes during his "training." 

Here are all the kids at the start... I think there were about 80 kids for this inaugural year.  They did the pledge of allegiance before the race.

The course was at the National Infantry Museum around the memorial walk and the parade field.  Walker and I stayed near the start/finish line and Brad went out across the field to cheer Wilson on when he came by.

Wilson passed us once during the course and he was doing great.  I was such a proud momma!  Daddy decided to finish the last bit with Wilson encouraging him along the way.  I was all teary-eyed at this point!

He ended up finishing his mile in 9 minutes and 30 seconds.  I think you can kinda tell he was pretty proud of himself.  It was so fun to see him beaming.  And of course, he had to wear his "got goat?" shirt! 

He said later in the weekend that he wanted to run a 5k with me this weekend.  We think he might need to train a little bit more before that happens.  ;) 

It was kind of a bummer that it was for ages 6 and up.  Walker really wanted to be a part of it!  Hopefully he'll get his chance soon enough, maybe next year if we are still here!

halloween treats

once again we were able to do Halloween costumes on the cheap ;) Walker wanted to be Super Walker again (can you blame him?) and Wilson finally settled on being a jockey after some debate about whether or not people would "get" his costume. We were able to use some of the horse-racing stuff that Uncle Steve had sent the boys last spring. I just had to cut down his shirt and use the scraps (+ black felt) to make his jockey helmet. He really wanted to bring Muskoka trick-or-treating but she has no concept of personal space when it comes to small children, and that's just not a good combo.
I finally got Super Walker to strike a pose that wasn't just showing off his new "wrist cuffs" which were an upgrade to his costume from last year; I also had to add new elastic to his mask. So super!
It was sunny for Halloween, can you tell?
A shot with daddy who, by the way, was up since 1:45am. He still managed to carve the pumpkin with Walker after school right before dinner right before trick-or-treating.
Such cuties! I took the boys & Brad stayed home to pass out candy. We were out for about 45 minutes, and Daddy only had 3 pieces of candy left we came home!

praying for an itty-bitty baby...

So, I know, I haven't been posting as often as I usually do. I just wanted to quickly ask any of you that still check this blog for updates to please add your prayers to ours for this little baby. He was born last week at 27 weeks 2 days. His name is John Buckly and he has the nickname "Lil Buck." He is amazing the doctors each day, but has a very, very long way to go. His parents are good friends of ours, you've read about them here before and here as well. They moved over the summer. Kelley's due date was in January. She is staying at the Ronald McDonald House near the hospital with the baby, about an hour from their home. Every prayer on their behalf is welcomed.

As for us, there isn't anything substantial to update you on... we are still waiting on the adoption, we are waiting for Brad to {possibly} get orders for somewhere, sometime. We are also praying about how to finish up Wilson's fundraising for the year. He has met his goal, but we are not convinced that he should stop just yet. We're praying we can help him finish it well. Also, if you didn't know, I started another blog for my sewing business and a FB page. Although I've not done much with either of those the last week or so too... I am working at finding balance and choosing the most important things. Eventually I'll figure it out.

seven words...

Adoption update.

Or non-update, depending on how you look at it.

We still wait.

Every day.

And believe wholeheartedly that God knows every detail perfectly well and His plans surpass our wildest hopes.

Even in the midst of wholehearted belief, there is fatigue. And I think that its OK. Reading through the Psalms you can see that David did not hold back in revealing his heart to God. So that is what I've been doing too, revealing my whole heart to God. I don't often reveal it to everyone else though. And I think that is OK too.

Last week at PWOC, we sang the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. We had sung it the week before too, and I totally boo-hooed through it. I did the same this time. And then following that song we sang, "Waiting Here for You" by Christy Nockels. That did me in. Tears rolling down my cheeks, with my hands lifted high in praise...

The praise team dismissed the body to fellowship and snack time but also invited those that wished to stay and worship to do so ... and also invited anyone that wanted to pray at the altar to come forward. And I did go forward, as they played through "Waiting Here for You" again.

Palms on the floor, face to the carpet. Tears dropping straight from my eyes to the ground. Crying, praying quietly the only words I could mutter... "God please, give me patience to wait, give me courage to praise, while I wait. Bring our babies (?) home" Another lady came behind me and prayed over me. I recognized her voice...

... we had been in a study together a year ago. She and her husband were retired missionaries and she just felt she needed to plug into the military community. I had appreciated her prayers and encouragement over the last year. I was grateful that I knew who was crying out on my behalf. I recalled catching up with her about two weeks ago and telling her that we were still "just waiting." I thought for sure our conversation was on her mind too as she called out for God's peace to rest on me...

...As the praise team finished their song, someone brought me a tissue and I pulled my hands from the ground, resting back on my legs. My prayer warrior pulled me close and whispered, "Is there anything specific I can pray for you?" I blubbered, "I just want my babies to come home. You know, this adoption process has been so long..."

And y'all her 7 word answer encompassed a wealth of knowledge, a measure of peace, and a dose of reality all at the same time.

She put her hands over her heart and exclaimed, "Oh thank God that's all it is!"

I knew immediately that she was right. God has reassured me so many times that He has this in His hands. He knows who and He knows when. He has led us well. For a brief moment, I felt bad and wondered what on earth she might have feared I was crying about! And peace washed over me and my blotchy-ugly-cry face. I hugged her and thanked her and she promised to pray with me this week about our adoption.

I've gotten so many encouraging words even in the last 5 days. There is a song out by Matt Redman that I posted sometime in the last week to FB. It has been a HUGE encouragement to me knowing that not one single step of this journey is alone.



It's kinda like a sneak peek into the future. Whatever you are waiting for I hope you are encouraged to know that He is faithful.

scars and struggles on the way
but with joy our hearts can say
NEVER ONCE
did we ever walk alone
carried by your constant grace
held within your perfect peace
NEVER ONCE
NO, WE NEVER WALK ALONE

NEVER ONCE
did we ever walk alone
NEVER ONCE
did you leave us on our own
Because You are Faithful
God You are Faithful
every step we are breathing in Your grace
evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful,
God, You are Faithful

a message from Walker J

(they called him over the intercong)

We are really proud of him.

He was disappointed to find out that being "Student of the Month" doesn't get you out of doing chores at home. I guess he thought it was like a birthday. He was helping me in the kitchen that evening and said, "I don't know why I'm having to do this, because I am student of the month!"

We've since had his conference with his teacher too. He is doing VERY well and progressing just about perfectly. We are thankful that he is doing well and praising God that he has a caring teacher!

POPCORN! POPCORN! get your fresh, hot, popcorn!

a brief video message from the cutest cub scout ever...



if you have any popcorn-related questions just let us know... thanks!

remembering

This morning I had to walk the boys into school when I took them... because I forgot to turn in Walker's shot record and the voicemail message from the nurse emphatically stated that he would NOT be able to return to school until I took care of it. I swore I had turned it in, but there it was in his vital records file -- whoops!

But that is not the point of this post.

As we walked in, the announcements were going off. Which I thought was unusual because we weren't late. The kiddos off the SAS bus (think: latch key), stopped in their tracks to say the Pledge. The car-rider line teachers had their hands over their hearts as they opened doors for kiddos. The boys and I said the Pledge as we walked in.

After the Pledge there was some Loyd Panther's Song. And by the time I got into the office to hand in papers another voice came over the PA. "Good Morning, students! This Sunday is September 11. Ten years ago on a day like today our country was attacked..."

And I quietly said, "Oh, I might cry." And the secretary said, "Me too."

The voice on the PA went on to explain the awful things that happened that day, in simple yet powerful words for the kids to understand. Then they played "God Bless America."

The secretaries, another parent, and myself retold our stories of where we were that day.

Ten years ago.

I realized that pretty much everyone we know now has had dramatic changes in their lives because of that day. Brad is in the military because of that day. Even friends that were in the military prior to 9-11 had their lives dramatically change afterwards due to increased deployments.

Everyone we know has said good-bye to a soldier going to war. They've missed at least a year of family memories and celebrations. They've hugged tightly and prayed that it would not be the last hug. They've hoped for phone calls, and sent away care packages. They've written letters, and emails, and became good at IM'ing.

Many have sacrificed so much more. They have gotten that knock on their door; the one every military family knows is a possibility but pray we don't hear. One day the knock came and their world changed forever. Most of those knocks come quietly without media coverage and front page stories. But the sacrifice is the same, immeasurable.

And even this morning as we remembered where we were that morning, my eyes welled with tears. I drove home from drop-off past the basic training area where young men & women are becoming soldiers. Our all-volunteer military continues to grow. Families continue to say good-bye and pray fervently for their loved ones. Sacrifices continue. Ten years later, we have not forgotten.

run for the fallen

Last weekend, we participated in the Run for the Fallen here at Benning. Brad actually got up and ran 12 miles before we went over to the event at 8:30! It was a one mile walk/run. We figured we would walk, but Brad told Walker that if he wanted to run we'd run at his pace. We ran a lot more than I expected. I didn't bring my phone to the run, so I didn't take any pictures there, but we stopped at the Ranger Memorial afterwards.
The Run for the Fallen here was sponsored by the 75th Ranger Regiment so they had names of all of the fallen rangers from The War on Terror. When we got there to register, there were still about 20 names left on the table that had already been printed. There were also blank forms if you wanted to fill in a name. We decided that we didn't want any of the names to be left on the table so we all took a different name to wear.


We looked up some of our names in the book a the memorial and found their markers...

Wilson ran for PFC Thomas. He was 18 when he died in a helicopter crash in 2007. We didn't know this until we got home (where I looked up each soldier's story); but the ranger Wilson ran for, and the ranger I ran for SPC Garbs, died in the same helicopter crash. SPC Garbs was 20 years old.
Walker ran for PFC Garza who was 19 when his vehicle left the road and crashed into a river in Jalalabad on our anniversary in 2005. Brad ran for SGT Regan who was 26 when he encountered an IED in Iraq in 2007. All of these men represent families that have given the ultimate sacrifice. All we know about them is that they gave everything for our country. I hope the families know that they are not forgotten.

I'm glad we got to go out and participate in this event. It was solemn. It was both encouraging and sad to see my friend, Mandy's husband's name on some of the tags. This war has demanded a high price.

a little less crazy...

...its true... I pad the before picture so the after looks that much better... Brad snapped this after we ran on Friday morning... cah-ray-zee...and after... a free haircut (!) because 9 inches was cut-off and donated to Children with Hairloss
I went to a new salon because my friend gave me a groupon for $75 dollars worth of services... and she moved to Korea so she wasn't going to be able to use it. I knew that when Pam got her hair cut for locks of love that the lady didn't charge her, but I also knew that it was Pam's last time at the salon before she moved. I didn't figure that the lady would cut my hair for free since she had just met me! So Pam's gift is multiplied!!! ;)

Cannot believe how much faster this is... like no time at all. A little diffuser, a couple twists of the curling iron, some finishing creme, and viola!