22 January 2014

do not fear

Dear 2014,

How YOU doin?  {please read that in Joey Tribbiani's voice for old time's sake}

I'm catching up to the New Year finally.  Today I wanted to share a brief {?} story with you about God's faithfulness.

Its been almost a year since we've been jarred awake to the work God is doing in our community.  Sometime last spring Brad sent an email to our caseworker to see how we could help support their office.  I would have never predicted where that would go.

Brad and I were recently reminiscing about when we were in our pre-adoption classes and how uncomfortable it was and how awkward we felt at times.  And now, God has changed us so dramatically.

I never saw this coming.  Organizing a closet in the office?  Asking friends to donate items for children in crisis?  Three years ago, I didn't know anything about any of it.  At all.

But God knew.  All along.

And my face doesn't know if I should smile or weep at that thought.

It's all just too much.  His grace.  His love.  The depth He will go to redeem His children.  The absurdity that He has asked me to be His child.

It's all just too much.   And its so good to be aware of the too-muchness-of-it-all. 

Ok, so yesterday,  I am floating on the too-muchness of our good God.  I'm marveling over the idea that He uses the foolish things of the world to shine His glory around.  You know when you are just absolutely in that moment of realizing your smallness and His bigness and the honor to just know Him and know that He knows you?

I was in the middle of all of that as I walked out of the foster care office yesterday.  I started thinking about something I overheard on the way out.  It was a small detail that was hard and heavy for the person bearing it.  I wondered about how I could tell you about it.

In that moment fear crept in.  Yes, in that lovely moment darkness came lurking.

There are a handful of lies that the enemy has repeatedly thrown at me throughout this past year.  That worm will use different phrases but the main idea remains the same.  "The Church doesn't want to help a government agency."  "It is too political."  "It is too risky."  "It is too big of a mess."  "The government has enough money already."   

I too easily latch on to this thought-line and run with it.  Eventually I land at "I'm an idiot for thinking any of this matters."  It isn't pretty, is it?  It's also somewhat shocking how quickly I can go there.

But God in His Goodness and tender Love never leaves me there for long.

Last night Brad played this video for me.  Big, fat tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  For the children in crisis, for the places our boys were, for my own heart that was reminded GOD IS MOVING.  His heart IS for these children and He is not intimidated by the government.  Across this nation, He is waking hearts to the needs right here.

Who are US Orphans? from The Global Orphan Project on Vimeo.

Whenever I get scared off, He reminds me that He said, "do not fear"  But it doesn't end there, and without the end, that "do not fear" would be empty.  But He never hands us empty words.  I don't know what might be scaring you these days, but this I know.  You are not alone.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' 
 Isaiah 41:10 NASB