be brave, be light, be love

Friday night Brad and I went on a date!  {Hallelujah!}  But it wasn't an average date, we went out to dinner then went to a meeting with FaithBridge to talk about foster care issues.

It was reported that there are currently 524 kiddos in foster care in Muscogee County.  And there are 67 foster families.

That averages to approximately 7.8 foster kiddos per family.  And since we all know there is no such thing as .8 of a child we'd need to round up to 8. Obviously the numbers aren't working here.

Its a bit disheartening.  But at the same time its an exciting time to think the church can step up and fill this gap.  This is our time.

While we sat in that meeting I kept thinking we all need to "be brave, be light, be love" in our communities.  Jesus showed us the way.  He didn't tell us to hide from hard things, instead He promised that we wouldn't walk in darkness because He is the Light of the World. {John 8:12}

We let fear hold us back, yet our Bible repeatedly says "do not be afraid."  There comes a time when we have to decide to just let the Spirit guide us and trust that Jesus is with us.  Not unlike when he told the disciples not to be afraid in Matthew 14:27.  "But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."

All of these thoughts were swirling before I heard the news about the attacks in Paris.

Devastating.

Horrific.

Detestable.

Then on top of those horrors begins the ugliness the unfolds on the internet.

The you-pray-for-Paris-but-you-don't-pray-for-[fill in the blank with other horrific events in the world]-rants.

The outcries to stop refugees from coming here.

And I just want to shout, "will y'all just stop it!" Its just too much.  You know?  And I think my voice will add nothing to the conversation at this point.  So I doodle the phrases that have been on repeat.  I ask Jesus to lead me in His ways.  And I quietly invite you to join me -- in your corner of the world, with your people.  Let's just do these simple things.  Let's just ask Him to lead us in His ways.

There is enough fear in the world. Let's be brave.

There is enough darkness in the world.  Let's be light.

There is enough hate in the world.  Let's be love.

Let's tell a different story.  Let's sing a different song.  Let's ask questions and truly listen for the answers.  Let's make space for differing opinions, trusting that those differences will help us find balance.  Let's celebrate the giftings of one another, trusting that another's strength will counter my weakness. Let's believe that the body of Christ is made up of different parts; some that are hospitable and some that are organized; some that pray, some that give, some that go.  Let's trust that together we can offer Hope to the hurting without fear -- in our own communities and on distant shores.

Let's seek after Jesus and trust that His ways will never lead us astray.  We won't be here long.  So while we are here let's bear witness to His goodness, His truth, and His salvation.  Let's be brave. Let's be light, Let's be love.

action required

Alright, y'all, I have been suffering from a bit of a writer's block for a hot minute.  The truth is, I am almost always carrying a story in my head that I can't be free of until it comes out on paper {or blog}.  But lately, things have been empty.  Until now.

Here's the thing, I am tired.  And I am angry.

I heard whispers yesterday about how hard foster care is.  AND IT IS. But the trouble is, those 'whispers of hard' tend to be the whole story that most people ever hear.  Especially in our churches, there's this underlying current of how horribly wrong things can go in foster care situations and this belief that we should protect ourselves from it at all costs.

I saw evidence of it first hand when we first waded into the system 5 years ago. People are eager to tell you the horror stories of their cousins' friends' mom who had a child torn from her after 12 years. Or the story about the terrible foster kid that raged uncontrollably for days on end.

I am not saying these stories aren't true, and I am not even saying these stories shouldn't be told.

The weird thing is, that these stories have somehow instilled enough fear to steer most folks directly away from any desire to be involved in foster care.

Let's be honest, we've all been with a newly pregnant friend who has to listen to awkward birth stories and we can't wait to get away from the ill-timed-narratives so we can reassure our friend that things will be OK.  Terrible things have happened to pregnant people and heartbreaking dramas have unfolded in delivery rooms.  However, the retelling of these stories hasn't turned our culture away from the idea of bearing children.

Yet, somehow these foster care stories build this fear that turns people away from the children.

These precious children that are so loved in the eyes of our Father.  And they are in a position of desperate need through no fault of their own.  AND OUR CHURCHES ARE FULL OF FOLKS THAT COULD SHARE SOME LOVE.

But its scary.  And hard.  But not impossible.  Not even close.

And there's good news for our local community specifically.  Really. Good. News.

FaithBridge Foster Care is coming to Columbus.  Here's a little info from their website: {Click here to go to their website and learn more.}

We are a Christ-centered nonprofit that is changing the way America does foster care by mobilizing, organizing and equipping local churches to solve their community's foster care crisis. Together, we stand in the gap with children and families. Through Christian foster care ministries and the FaithBridge Community of Care, we provide unparalleled support to foster and birth families as we share God's life-changing love in the midst of crisis.

This organization has proven itself in Atlanta.  And Atlanta is a pretty big place.  It saw the need, and it saw the number of churches and it realized things could change.  I couldn't be more thrilled to have them come to town.  While there will still be struggles within the foster care space, there will be a community like there hasn't been before.  Families that bravely sign-up to foster will have the support of other families within their own churches to help them along the way.  Churches will be able to leverage their resources to make sure every foster parent has enough clothes, or beds, or toys, or books.  I don't want to make this sound too good to be true, but at the same time, I don't think I can overstate what a HUGE blessing it will be for Muscogee County and the children in crisis there.

This was stated by the Chattahoochee CASA two weeks ago on Facebook:

ATTENTION, ACTION NEEDED! There are now 520 children in foster care, only 168 served with 352 unserved! That is only 32% of the Muscogee County Foster Children. We need YOU, THEY need YOU! Training will begin Nov. 3rd. If you are interested in joining our class it isn't too late!

 And remember last week when I told y'all about the foster momma that had to tell one of her foster girls that she couldn't sign-up for cheerleading because they didn't have the money?

Y'all this is going to make a difference.  A big measurable difference.  And I am sure of it because they have already done it in Atlanta.

They are getting closer to opening their doors here.  They only need $40,000 to meet their goal.  It sounds like a lot but not for a community of our size.  Not really.

4000 people could give $10.
400 people could give $100.
40 people could give $1000.
4 people could give $10,000.

And I am guessing there are some community leaders that might be interested in being a part of this as well.  Perhaps there are some business owners that have been burdened to give back to our comminity but haven't been sure of where or how. You might even know them!

So what can you do?

1.  Pray.  Pray for the funding to come.  Pray for the leaders in Muscogee County.  And always, always pray for children in foster care and the families that are loving them the best they can.

2. Give.  Click this link, check the box next to Columbus and make a donation.  Today!

3. Share this information.  You likely know people that I don't and they might be able to give today too, essentially multiplying your impact!

4. Be brave.  When you hear foster care horror stories, acknowledge the pain if its a personal story; but if its about a friend's cousin's mom's situation from 1985 boldly speak Truth and stand up for these kiddos without a voice.  Make sure the conversation doesn't end in fear and despair.  These kiddos are worth the struggle.

when the holidays are hard

Sometimes, seeing holiday decorations in the store in September gives you a pit in your stomach. You knew in your heart the holidays would be hard this year, but you had no idea you'd physically feel it.

I know because I have had that experience.  And every year I remember.  I remember for me, because God was near in a way I hadn't experienced before and I don't ever want to forget it.   I also remember for you.

Maybe this year you had expected a big, round, growing belly-full-of-baby, but instead you carry the heartache of a loss. It's ok to still be sad months later. It's ok to remember what you had hoped for.

Maybe you made space in your home and your heart for a child to join you through foster care or adoption, and you are still waiting.  Your arms are empty and the longing for someone you've not yet met overwhelms.  Its ok to lean in to that longing, God put it there.

Maybe this year you aren't unpacking decorations where you thought you would. You aren't where you expected for reasons you don't yet understand. It's ok to feel disappointment; even if you are certain God's plans for you are good.

Maybe you won't be celebrating with the one(s) you want to - maybe you'll celebrate together via Skype or FaceTime miles apart. And you'll be so grateful to see one another but all the more desperate to hold close and hug tight. It's ok to let the joy mingle with sorrow. You don't have to choose just one.

Maybe this holiday season is one more in the string of "after" holidays. Your loved one is gone and every holiday since is a different kind of hard. Grief joins you unexpectedly and unpredictably. Maybe deep down you are hoping for just one holiday season like "before" because it's beginning to seem so far away. It's ok if you can't make sense of it. It's ok if one moment you are jolly in a way you thought you wouldn't experience again; only to feel guilty the next moment for letting yourself feel that joy. 

Sometimes, the holidays are just hard. Please know I'm praying for you through the hard.

When Brad was deployed, there was this one mental image that carried me through the longest nights. It seems a little silly when I explain it. It was based loosely on that children's song, "He's got the whole world in His hands." I imagined God's Hand was big enough to hold our family together. Though miles apart, I imagined the Creator could hold both Brad & I tightly together in the palm of His hand. I begged Him to do that for us. I believe He did.

My prayer for you through this holiday season is that Hope creeps in. I pray that as you let hot tears of hurt roll down your cheeks that you won't try to stop them or hide them - but that you'll offer them to Him. I pray you'll sense His presence in an unmistakable way, maybe like never before. I pray you'll be certain that He is with you even if you are in a mess. Because He is.

I pray your heart lets Hope in. I pray it settles into nooks & crannies you hadn't thought about in years. I pray it crowds around your hurt like so much Kudzu on a Georgia pine.

You are not forgotten, and you are not alone.  God welcomes every part of you to Himself.  May your Hope grow in this fertile soil of ashes and pain. May the hope of future glory carry you, as you wait for the Beauty to come.

May these words fall over you like the first time.  Might we all cling to them with bravery.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."  

 Romans 5:1-5

answered prayers

Once again.  God answers prayers in a surprisingly amazing way.  And I am humbled and awed and feel so itty-bitty small.  In the best way.

Thanksgiving is this week.  I think its fair to say the holidays are upon us.  Its such a joyful & generous time.  It truly is, and I love it.

However, I've been carrying around a small concern for a week or so.  We had talked to the caseworker at the foster care office about providing Christmas stockings for the Christmas party.  We weren't really sure if it would be something we could try to organize through our church or if it was something we would just ask friends to help us with.  Of course, Brad being on lock down this week dialed up my anxiety a bit about how/when we should do this.  Oh, and we are talking about two hundred (200!!!) stockings.

Meanwhile, I hadn't been to the supply closet in about 4 weeks due to all the sickness that we had going on here.  I found a lot of empty hangers; which always gives me mixed emotions.  I'm grateful that there were suitable clothes available for the children that needed them - but I am always a little sad that a child needed them.  Does that make sense?  While I was doing the inventory on Tuesday, I noticed that there are a lot of very-summery-outfits.  (Which are nearly perfect here 8 months out of the year!)  I decided to edit the list to reflect how many outfits we currently have that would be appropriate for the current weather.  There are quite a few gaps.

Of course, I thought about all the needs and felt a little stuck about what to do.  There are so many great opportunities for giving at this time of year.  Most of them are much more convenient and better organized than our little operation.  I wasn't sure what to do or how to start.  Brad wasn't here to talk any sense into me, so I just prayed.  I asked my PWOC bible study class to pray about the stockings with me because there is a deadline looming.

And I waited. 

This morning at church, I mentioned the stockings to our Bible Study class too, asking for prayer about how/when to do this.

After class my friend, a teacher at the middle school, said, "We'll do the stockings."  And I nearly cried.  When I got to worship service I did cry.

I was sure He had a plan for these stockings.  I was desperate for Him to show me the plan ASAP.  Of course,  He revealed it in the just-so-perfect-way that leads me again to say, "Only God."

I am going to go ahead and post a list of current needs for the foster care supply closet.  With all of the crazy sales this week, I thought there might be some good opportunities to grab some deals.  As always, we need new items.  If you have any questions {a-n-y questions at all} feel free to ask them.  I know I often leave out important details! Also, you may have an idea that I hadn't considered, so please share!

Just as a word of encouragement, if you cannot purchase anything right now, please pray for the kiddos in care.  God will provide the needs.  I started tracking retail value of donations on September 28.  Since then we've collected $2799.82 worth of items.  So I do not doubt that HE WILL PROVIDE.  Your prayers are essential!

OTHER NEEDS:
Shoes
Socks
Underwear (boys & girls including bras)
Winter hats
Mittens

NON-CLOTHING ITEMS:
towels
shelf stable snacks
older kid toiletries (deodorant, body spray, etc)
books*
activity pads
stuffed animals*
sports balls*

* these items can be new without tags, or excellent used condition ;)

And this, just because it blessed me so much.  This video from The Forgotten Initiative helps share the heart beat of what we do, and gives a glimpse into how the donations bless children, and how important your prayers are.  While we aren't quite at the same level as this group, I think the main point translates well to what we are doing here in our area.


Their Story: The Forgotten Iniatitive from Vale Church on Vimeo.

foster care supply closet update

Ok, I have been volunteering at the front desk in our foster care office for a few Tuesdays now. I would be lying if I said its easy or that I am awesome at it. But it has been good.

As you know, this opportunity came from my repeated "showing up" to help organize the supply closet there.  Naturally, this has exposed me to more of the story in that office.  I see how the closet is used, and I see more clearly how it lacks.  Also?  I feel more determined than ever to share the needs with others so there isn't this big blank space between foster parents and not foster parents.

If you don't know, you can't help.  Right? 

I still don't want to tell too many details of private stories during their most difficult chapters.  I've seen their faces, I've heard bits and pieces of their stories.  I've seen how the caseworkers are repeatedly pulled in an impossible number of directions within moments.  All the while staying on task with the most urgent cases.  There are just not enough people in that office to do everything that needs to be done.  This might be a budget issue, this might be a management issue, this might even be a political issue.  I don't know.  What I do know, though, is that these are children and they need to be loved, they need to know they are loved.  So wherever the issue stems from, it ends with children in need. 

And we can help.  There are so many ways we can help.

One quick story before I get on with the current needs and the help you can provide.

I've been keeping a tally-sheet of clothing items trying to keep track of clothing needs in each size range.  I have made notes in some cases for outfits that are "questionable" or "sorta an outfit."  My tally sheet is often a scrap of paper that gets shuffled around and smudged.  When I get around to typing up the needs, I don't add my notes.  Therefore those questionable outfits get overlooked.  But yesterday.  There was only one "outfit" in the size that was needed.  It was one I had cringed over before.  Too short shorts, with a cropped shirt of some sort.  My stomach was sick over it.  I have no idea how the child felt about the outfit, it was probably just nice to have clean clothes to put on.  But how I wish it had been something that was less "sorta an outfit." I also found out that the child had to wait to shower for a caseworker to return with a towel she went out to buy. 

Y'all.  I need your help.

Everything needs to be new.  If you are crafty and make things, that still counts as new.  I need to say this up front because I know it is a bit disappointing for the thrifty folks out there that have the gift for finding THE BEST previously-owned items.  I know.  But this is a standard that the office has in place to prevent a pile of junky stuff being brought in.  I have sorted through some items that eluded that standard which made me respect the standard even more. 

Immediate needs: 

• towels (for children that need a bath/shower when they come in to care.)
• boys' toddler size underwear through size small (we have none!)
• blankets (children often have to sit a long time in the AC in those offices)
• shelf-stable kid-friendly snacks (see above)
• VOLUNTEERS TO WORK AT THE FRONT DESK!!*  {HUGE NEED}

Clothing needs:

• The goal is three outfits for each size range for boys & girls through 4T; and two outfits for each size range for boys & girls in larger sizes.
• They also need shoes.  All sizes.  The goal would be a pair of shoes in every size.  
• Here is a list of what is currently needed to fulfill the clothing goals:
• GIRLS
• Newborn - fulfilled
• 3-6 months - need 1 outfit
• 6-9 months - fulfilled
• 12 months - fulfilled
• 18 months - fulfilled
• 24 months - need 1 outfit
• 2T - need 2 outfits
• 3T - need 2 outfits
• 4T - need 2 outfits
• XS - need 1 outfit
• S - need 1 outfit
• M- need 2 outfits
• L - need 2 outfits
• XL - need 2 outfits

• BOYS

• Newborn - fulfilled
• 3-6 months - fulfilled
• 6-9 months - fulfilled
• 12 months - fulfilled
• 18 months -fulfilled
• 24 months - fulfilled
• 2T - need 1 outfit
• 3T - need 2 outfits
• 4T - need 2 outfits
• XS - fulfilled
• S - fulfilled
• M- need 2 outfits
• L - need 2 outfits
• XL - need 2 outfits

QUESTIONS?  Ask away.  Please!
IDEAS?  Share them.  Please!
INTERESTED IN VOLUNTEERING YOUR TIME?  Let's talk*.  PLEASE!

If you want to donate something, would you mind saying a prayer over the item(s)?  A prayer for the child that will receive it.  If you can't donate right now (I so get it) would you mind saying a prayer for the caseworkers as they go about their days with too much work and not enough time?

I believe we have a great opportunity to make a huge difference in this little space.  Prayer is no small part of it, so please keep on praying.  It is a challenge every time I walk in there, but I never feel alone.  You all go with me.  When I tally up the clothes in the closet, it just makes me smile to see the ones that you all have given.  It's like you are in there with me. Its a special place.  And just on the other side of the door is so much heartbreak and hurt, but we, my friends, we carry the hope.  We get to share it.  You are doing this with me.  And I am so grateful.  Thank you for loving well. 

"Learn to do what is good.
Seek justice.
Correct the oppressor.
Defend the rights of the fatherless.Plead the widow’s cause."  

Isaiah 1:17 HCSB

* volunteering at the front desk requires a background check.  for obvious reasons. 

worship

Yesterday was a work day for Brad.  I still dislike that he has to work some Sundays, but when I remind myself that I went to church solo for 15 months of Sundays, it doesn't seem nearly so bad.

There was something dynamic in our worship yesterday.  Or at least it seemed like it to me.  I do adore belting out the songs at our church.  In my mind, I feel like I can sing as loudly as I want and nobody else can hear me, which allows me to sing as loudly as possible.  The lead-worshipper did say yesterday that he was tempted to hand his microphone to a guy in the front row because he was singing so loudly, so perhaps my assessment of "nobody else can hear me" is off.  I'll just keep on belting out the songs.

As I sang and we collectively poured our worship offerings before God I just felt this peace.  The kind that can't be shaken.  The kind that says no matter where we go, God is already there.  No matter what job Brad gets, God is already preparing him for it.  No matter which school district we live in, our God will be there too.  An unshakable peace.  In those peace-filled moments, my thoughts led me to some of the things I am praying for others too... that this peace would be theirs even in the middle of the circumstances they encounter.

We sang a new-to-our-church song, which has long been belted out in my car, living room, and even on my street while I run.  I awoke with it in my mind again this morning.

I had intended to type up this little post this morning, but I could not figure out how to pair the keyboard to my iPad [is that even the right way to say that?] {I don't dare turn on the desktop in the quiet hours while boys still sleep!}  I played the song on repeat instead, and as I reflected on the lyrics it turns out God had some things He needed to reveal to me first.  I was a little caught off guard by a disconnect that God pointed out to me.

You see, while we are waiting for the Army to decide how much longer Brad will be in; Brad is hustling to search out job listings and tweaking his resume.  All the while, I stand by and say "wherever!"  And if I am being honest, I am a little proud of my willingness to go wherever.  There I said it.  And that's not even the worst part.  Gah.

Here comes the disconnect.  Brad found a job posting last night.  He printed it out and brought it to me.  It is basically a job description of all of his skills.  It is almost as if the person that wrote the job description had watched Brad at work for the last seven years.  I could barely finish reading it because my jaw was hanging open.

When we figured out where it was located.  My "wherever!" attitude was nowhere to be found.  Instead, I was shocked at my first thoughts about the location.  And embarrassed.

God was not surprised.  Not even a little.  He knows my heart.  And He ever-so-gently reminds me of this often.  Today, He is calling out my "wherever!"  I can't begin to predict if Brad will get this job and we'll move to the state of Washington someday.  It doesn't even matter today if that will happen.

The important thing is that God is correcting me in a grace-filled-peace-giving way.  All I can do, is humbly ask Him to prepare my heart and continue to call me out in the places that I haven't surrendered as much as I thought I had.  I don't just want to sing of surrender and feel peace while the music plays.  I want to live it out.  I truly want my "wherever!" to be honest.  He will continue to refine my heart in this process.  There is so much work to be done, I'm so grateful that He is so faithful.

"I lay me down.  I'm not my own. I belong to you alone.  Lay me down.  Lay me down.
Oh! Hand on my heart, this much is true; there's no life apart from you.  Lay me down."

outside

"Outside?"

"Outside?!"

"O U T S I D E !!!"

I hear this repeated daily.  x2.  The plea to go outside.  Franklin & Lincoln are always desperate to be outside.  Generally, I am happy to oblige.  Everyone is happier if we spend time outside.  Even if its pushing 90 with high humidity.

While home in Michigan, it was fun to see our little nephews clamoring to go outside too.  Breeze would fiddle with the door until he earned his freedom; and both Wesson & Brecken were thrilled to get outdoors too.  Branden even showed us a "trick" with Brecken... if he was fussing and Branden stepped towards the door to go outside, the fussing would let up... if he backed away from the door it started back up.  That little boy wanted O-U-T.

The light is brighter there.  The colors more vivid.  There is such a variety of textures to experience.  Sounds are layered upon one another from near and far.  All of the little guys knew there was much to be explored outside.

So we let them explore. 

We all start out as explorers, don't we? 

Like Lincoln and Franklin, we use to crave that outdoor time, didn't we?

Somewhere along the way most of us begin to prefer indoors to outdoors.  We like a comfortable climate.  We like to control our entertainment choices.  We like what the walls and doors keep out. We don't mind the view from the window, but its handy that we can block that off too; you know, for privacy and comfort.

Before you know it, we are all comfortable in our little houses.  Cradling our little devices, playing games or watching shows.  So far from the outside that we might even get sucked in to a program about the outside.

We stop exploring.  We settle for near and familiar and comfortable.

I don't want to settle.

I want to begin my days pleading with my Father for "outside!"  Out from the near and the familiar and the comfortable.  I want to explore this world at this time and all the beautiful people I share it with right now.  I want to be childlike in my desires for the brighter light and the vivid colors, for the varied textures and layered sounds.  

I want to be barefoot and walk through the grass, even if it means occasionally stepping on a rock (or worse).  I want to feel the breeze that moves the tree branches and marvel at its refreshment with my sons and neighbors.


This isn't a new song, but the album was new to us on our road trip, so we listened to it many times.  As I ponder this inside/outside issue, this song repeatedly pops into my head. 


The Outsiders by NEEDTOBREATHE.

seven

I've got a little bit of a love/hate thing going with these birthdays of yours, WJ.

Mostly because they're all... 

--b l i n k --

and then

BOOM!!

I mean, for real, with the whitewater rafting?  You couldn't even pretend to be a little bit scared so momma could've busted out some of my baby-Walker-soothing-techniques?  Daddy said you were "fearless."  And I think that word sums you up quite well, son.  I am so incredibly proud of you.  Six was such a super year for you.  You continue to light up the hallways at school and I have yet to meet someone that works there that doesn't adore you.

You do your own thing.  And you do it well.  You know what you like, you know what you dislike - but you are usually willing to give new things a try before deciding.  THAT is an awesome trait.

You are cute, you are smart, you have an incredible sense of humor, but most importantly you love well.  You always reassure me that you love me.  I don't think there is a day that goes by without you telling me so.  I treasure it each time...even if you don't really know that I do. You bravely prayed some prayers during this past year.  When I asked you to, you would pray "that momma wouldn't lose her temper,"  and sometimes you even prayed it when I didn't ask.  I love to see you stepping into your relationship with Jesus on your own - asking Him about things that matter to you because you know He hears each time.

Believe it or not.  You teach me.  So much.  I am looking forward to seeing what lessons I'll learn with you during the year of seven.

I hope you'll keep dancing in Kids' World worship even as more of your classmates decide they don't want to anymore.  I pray you'll rock 2nd grade just as hard as you did 1st grade.  I trust you'll become an even more awesome big brother this year (although, man, you totally owned that role this year!)  I expect that you will begin to grasp more and more just how deeply God loves you and begin glimpsing the goodness of the plans He has for you.  They are good and they are just for you.  No one can do what God has planned for you - except YOU!  Remember:

God created you exactly the way He intended to Walker J.  You are delight to Him and to all that know you (even Wilson although he may not admit that for a few years [or decades, maybe])

Happy Birthday Walker J!  Daddy and I are so proud of you!

my arm is not that long

More lessons from the road trip.

We made a HUGE mistake by packing a little bin of toys for the youngest two - in their line of sight for the car trip.  Lincoln and Franklin would take turns requesting a toy from the bin.  I would grab what they asked for and hand it to them.  Then the toy would inevitably drop (or be thrown?) and wailing would ensue, followed by dramatic, frantic, repetitive requests for the dropped item.  I would then have to twist my body around into all sorts of fantastic contortions to try and find the dropped item.  Patting the floor with my hand in places where my eyes couldn't reach.  This was all kinds of fun.  There were a few times that I couldn't reach the item no matter how much stretching & twisting I did.  I would have to say, "I'm sorry but Mommy can't reach it."  Cue more emphatic wailing.  Awesome, I tell you.  This little scenario played out at least 67 times the first two days on the road.  By day three, we were smart enough to pack that bin in the back of the van.  Genuis!

On the way home there was a similar bit of this scenario cropping up.  We streamlined the number of Lincoln & Franklin items up front, but we had to keep the monsters and blankets - they are critical for sleeping.

See? Absolutely critical.

Of course, when its not sleepy-time its thrash-those-blankets-around-time.  I finally just started replying to the wailing with "My arm is not that long."  No more twisting or contorting - just fact.  My arm is not that long. Who can argue with that?

After issuing this statement a few times, I settled in to the front seat feeling rather proud of my declaration of arm length.  Watching the fields whirl past, listening to my favorite music, just grateful to be rolling along with my guys - a thought took shape.  I remembered that time in the Bible when God made a declaration about the length of His arm.

"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear." -Isaiah 59:1

I love this declarative statement of fact.  Who can argue with that?  

Unlike my arm that couldn't reach the toys that had been tossed around, nothing is out of God's reach.  Furthermore, He never 'accidentally' puts things in our view and then gets frustrated because we keep asking for them/throwing them/dropping them etc.  He makes no mistakes.  He doesn't dangle things in front of us only to make us squirm.  He would love if we would boldly ask for His help.  Often.  Not unlike Lincoln and Franklin - repeatedly and with expectation.  His arm is not too short.  Ever.

things we've learned

It's day two of our road trip. I'm sitting on the floor of the laundry room of our hotel. There's a random chunk of leather belt and a few discarded dryer sheets kicking it with me. Brad's in the room convincing four boys that now is a great time to sleep. I'm not sure who has the better deal at the moment. Thought I'd use some of the dryer-cycle-time to tell you some of the things we've learned thus far. 

1- if Lincoln sucks air in and out of an empty juice box rapidly for a minute (or two?), he's going to get an upset stomach.

2- if you get back on the road after juice box incident (see #1), and Lincoln repeatedly says, "Ima fro up", he means it.

3- you can never pack too many changes of clothes for toddlers 

4- Franklin has a mild case of claustrophobia, he did not want to walk under any rock formations (or next to tall ones) at Rock City

5- the upside of misty rain while visiting Lookout mountain is that you really understand the phrase "the battle above the clouds" 

6- Walker has a daily photo limit, once reached he will opt out of all family photos; if he is forced in, you'll know it

7- Ruby Falls is a one hour (+) walking tour underground; Lincoln and Franklin were polar opposites.  I carried Franklin (see #4), Lincoln however would have preferred free reign of the cave and wanted nothing to do with holding hands or waiting for people ahead of us. He let his preference for freedom be known through much wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

8- I can't get over the preciousness of the boys sharing beds; Wilson + Lincoln and Walker + Franklin. Nobody fell out of bed last night and I'm hopeful for an equally successful night tonight. Wilson did get crowded out and ended up switching sides with Lincoln last night :)

9- We had some diaper leakage today - see #3

10- I've already laughed so hard that I nearly cried more times than I can remember. I think it bodes well for the rest of the trip. 

Lincoln's face in this picture pretty much captures his entire Ruby Falls experience. 

the hair dryer

This motherhood thing is a challenge.  Just when you think you are getting a part figured out, your kids grow and there are new parts.  The learning curve tends to fall heavily on the firstborn.  God bless him.

He's not a fan of me taking his picture, and really dislikes it when I post pictures... although, if I tell him "your grandparents" will want to see this, he usually relents.  But with that look on his face.  I see that look more and more.  I recognize it.  I think I could've won medals for giving that look so frequently and effortlessly.

Last night, I watched Frankie Heck burst into tears at Axel's graduation and I could've jumped right in the screen with her.

It all happens so fast.

I know Wil isn't graduating yet (thank you Jesus!), but he is just growing so much.  And so often this mother heart wonders if I haven't just messed it all up for him.  There's this crazy part that thinks somehow my mistakes will surpass God's grace, you know?

But God is good.  And in His goodness, He gives these little gifts.

The one I am savoring right now involves my hair dryer.  And the boy that wants to grow his hair out.

We've decided its OK for him to grow his hair out.  We would love if he actually cared what it looks like when he leaves the house.  Maybe that will happen one day?  We've threatened to cut it if he doesn't start combing it BEFORE we tell him too.  The loophole here is that he gets it wet, and combs 25% of it.  Its still a mess but obvious that he made an effort... be it a really small effort.  The hair.  [I can't help but wonder if these hair-hassles might be some sort of preparation for a girl to join our ranks.]  Its an ongoing thing.  And fairly annoying.

Maybe it was the night before the baby dedication?  I don't remember for sure.  I decided to blow dry Wil's hair before bed.  All the way.  The next morning, it still looked good.

So for the last week or so, Wil and I have a few moments for me to run my fingers through his hair and wave a hair dryer at his head.  We made a little hand gesture for him to use so I can give him a cool shot if it gets too hot.  We don't talk, I turn him around this way and that.

I marvel at how big he is.  I wonder at how this once tiny head that I cradled in my hands is so full of this hair.
And ideas.
And dreams.

God has given me these moments with him and my hair dryer.  They are treasure.

Oh the things we mothers carry close in our hearts. 

p.s. yes, I did get carried away with picmonkey when editing the photo. ;)  I imagine Wilson will quickly greet this post with that look.  God bless him.

pray for your pastor

Did you read this post by Beth Moore?  I retweeted it and I posted it on FB.  I think its worth reading if you are a Jesus Follower. 

It resonated with me so deeply and, of course, Beth Moore is going to write it better than I ever could. 

After Brad told me about Rick Warren's son on Saturday I cried a little (of course).  I prayed for their family as I made dinner.  Sometime later in the evening I told Brad, "if one person posts something hateful on FB about this, I swear I'm gonna quit facebook.  I'm quitting it for good." 

Maybe you've noticed there can be a whole lotta snark up in there on the FB?  It greatly affects me when the latest "controversy" gets everyone fired up.  I'm a feeler.  I get all twisted up in my gut when hateful things are posted and the arguments that erupt in the comments.  Gah.  And these are on my Christian friends' pages.  Double Gah.  

I try to keep FB "friends" down to actual friends and/or family members... people I would share a meal with if the opportunity arises.  Even still, there is diversity in my friends' list and there are just days that I don't spend much time there because there can be some downright ugliness.  I hate that part of FB.

 I feared that some idiot somewhere would write an awful, accusatory post about the Warrens and I was worried that one of my "friends" would share it.  And then I was gonna quit.  Thankfully that hasn't happened.  All day today I have been thinking about this Facebook-hatefulness-phenomena and it occured to me that it really isn't new, its just more obvious. 

I think about Pastor Rick Warren and his family, of quietly caring for a child with mental illness while also carrying on the work that Lord has called him to; then publicly asking for prayer in their deepest time of grief.  I think of the words that Beth Moore wrote about Christians hating-on one another and I can't help but think about all of the pastors and their families out there. (Shout out to Pastor Dan in ND!)

They need our prayers.  Desperately. 

One of my favorite things about our church is the Pastor's Prayer Partners ministry (P3).  Our Pastor started it some time ago and as he celebrated his 30th anniversary at our church yesterday, his only real regret is that he didn't start P3 sooner.  I've often remarked to Brad that I think the American Church would be unstoppable if every congregation prayed earnestly for their pastor.

Brad grew up a pastor's son.  I don't think its my place to share his family's personal stories of hurt via congregants; but I will tell you that Brad nodded emphatically the first time we heard pastor talk about P3.  He gave some examples of things a pastor might hear:

• you don't dress you/your family well enough
• you spend too much money on the clothes you/your family wears
• we pay you all that money and you drive a clunker
• we must pay you too much if you can afford such a nice car
• you shouldn't preach so much about -----------
• you should preach more about ----------------- 

Absurd, right?

Our Pastor wrote a book called Pray for your Pastor and he included some statistics in the first chapter...

•  1500 pastors in America leave the ministry every month due to moral failure, burnout, or trouble in the church.
• Of pastors and their wives, 82% are discouraged in the work because they are told daily of someone who is displeased with them.
• 97% of all pastors have been betrayed, falsely accused, or hurt by their trusted friends.  And as a result, 78% do not have a close friend.
• Of all pastors' children, 80% have a low trust of people within the church.

Here's a quote from the end of that chapter:

Ministry is an undeniable calling on the life of a person.  A person who is called to ministry knows it because they are unable to do anything else with success.  A person doesn't choose ministry, ministry chooses a person.  It is that fact alone that makes the life of a pastor a difficult one.  Pastors are imperfect people, who need the grace of God and men.  Sometimes we forget that.  We forget that pastors don't walk on water, they walk beside it.  When a congregation forgets to protect their pastor with prayer, that pastor is more vulnerable to Satan's attacks.  If everything rises and falls on leadership, it is clear why the devil attacks the pastor and his family the most in the church.  Jesus taught in Matthew 26:31 that if you strike down the shepherd, the sheep will scatter.  Jesus uses this metaphor often in the Bible to describe the people and their leader.  He often described people with no leader as "sheep without a shepherd" (Matt. 9:36). The devil will target a pastor not only because he wants to damage a ministry, but because he seeks to destroy the people under that ministry.  Your pastor will be satan's top priority, and that is why praying for him daily must be your congregation's top priority as well.

I wonder what it was like for pastor to stand before the church the first time he introduced P3.  I wonder if his critics were uncomfortable.  I wonder what kind of fury was happening in the heavenly places that day.

I can't tell you what a blessing it is to pray for our pastor daily.  I can tell you, though, that you will experience those blessings if you begin praying daily for your pastor. 

If you don't know specifically what to pray, then pray this:  Ask God to protect your pastor physically, morally, mentally, and spiritually.  I pray this for our pastor and his wife, for each of their sons and their daughter-in-law's and their GRANDangels as well.  I pray for their marriages to be strong and well protected.  I pray that their communication with one another is open, honest, and easy. 

I urge you to pray for your pastor.  Use your words carefully and your prayers powerfully. If you might be interested in our pastor's book, you can click here.  Maybe you will even be moved to begin a P3 ministry at your church!  THAT would be awesome!  

*p.s. our church is classified as a mega-church, our pastor has no idea I am writing this and I am receiving nothing for linking to the book.  I just wholeheartedly believe in this ministry of praying for our pastors; I truly believe it is crucial for a church's health and growth.

twin lessons

I think I can keep these short.  Lincoln & Franklin have taught me two distinct lessons over the course of the last 10 days or so.  God is so good to speak to us through our children's behavior.

First up.

I took four boys to a brand new playground a week ago Friday.  I think half of Columbus was there.  I was chasing toddlers, wrangling that free-spirited first grader, and being a tad-too-bossy to the big helper.  It was stressful because there were tons of adults along the perimeter of the playground but I was never standing still long enough to notice the children with each adult - thus leaving that sense of fear that one of the adults might be a creepy-freak.  So we were in constant motion the. whole. time.  I kept telling Lincoln & Franklin that we had to stay together because there were "so many kids."  After a final warning, Lincoln ran off as fast as his little legs would carry him (under the bridge part that is most awkward for me to follow, of course).  When I caught up to him I told him we had to leave because he ran off and there were "so many kids" that it was hard for me to watch him.  He was devastated.  Big sad tears.  He said, "sorry mommy!"  And I forgave him and gave him kisses as I buckled him into his carseat.

I decided we would grab Chick-Fil-A to bring home for dinner, so we headed that way.  Lincoln said, "sorry mommy" again, in that sad voice.  I told him again that I forgave him.  He then looked out the window and said, "so many kids."  I'm not exaggerating, we repeated this conversation at least 6 more times.  "sorry mommy"  "so many kids"  He just kept repeating it. 

He wasn't understanding that I forgave him because his circumstance wasn't changing.

How many times have I puzzled over a past mistake, bringing it up over and over to my Father because the hurt was still there?  Yes, I screwed up.  But He forgave me.  Sometimes I forget to receive that forgiveness.  Do you ever find yourself on repeat when your circumstances still reflect a bad choice?

"As far as east is from west - that’s how far God has removed our sin from us." Psalm 103:12

Second lesson.

Yesterday we took Muskoka to the groomer.  Big girl had been dealing with some seriously bad hair for weeks.  Lincoln & Franklin had never dropped Muskoka off at the groomer before, so it was all new.  When I told them we were taking her to get her hair cut, they asked if she would get the "phone" to play with {they have a special hair cut toy, reserved for hair cuts only}.  I told them that Mussy can't play with the phone.  I told them that we would leave her there to get her haircut because it takes a really long time.  I didn't want them to be surprised when we left her.  We repeated this entire conversation quite a few times before it was finally time to take her.  It was a trip trying to get the 80-pound-spaz through the door with the double stroller.  Of course, she hid behind me while we waited our turn to get checked in.  I tried to turn the stroller so Lincoln & Franklin could see some of the other dogs getting their hair cut and explained how they stand on the table. 

The groomer took Muskoka and Franklin started saying, "Watch.  Haircut.  Watch."  I told him that her haircut takes a really long time and that they would call Daddy when she was done and he'd bring her home. 
"Koka?" 
"Haircut?"
"Watch?" 
Each question was slightly more frantic than the one before.  Both boys were asking in very nervous voices.  I repeated the conversation piece from earlier in the day.  I reminded them that we had talked about it earlier and that her haircut takes a long time.  By the time they were both buckled in, I thought they understood.  As we merged on to the highway, Lincoln said, "Koka?  Haircut?"  I repeated my part.  A little further down the road, Franklin says, "Koka?  Haircut?" I repeated my part.

Now I have to tell you this...  the tenderness in their voices as they asked, kept me from getting irritated with repeating my part.  They were genuinely concerned and I was trying my best to reassure them.  Over and over again.  As many times as they needed to hear it.  They eventually both fell asleep on the way.  When I was carrying Lincoln up to his crib, he woke up and said, "Koka? Koka?"  I whispered, "Daddy will bring her home."

It didn't matter how many times I told them how things were going to unfold.  They weren't grasping it.  They were focused on what they saw happen, we left Koka.  Their little minds couldn't wrap around the idea that Daddy was going to bring her home...even though I clearly communicated that many times.

How often do I struggle with the Truth that I have heard over and over because I am focused on what I see happen right in front of me?  How often does my little mind get tripped up in that space between my reality and God's Truth because I can't figure out how the two will come together?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5

book review

 

I finally finished the 2nd book I bought after Christmas.  I tend to read books slowly, take in bits and pieces and think them over before moving on.  Add to it the adopting-twin-one-year-olds, and my book reading process really, really slowed down!

Grace for the Good Girl - letting go of the try-hard life is an excellent book; even if you wouldn't necessarily classify yourself as a "good girl."  It actually took me a bit to commit to reading it because of that "good girl" phrase.  But I adore the author's blog, and so often her posts are written exactly for me on exactly the right day.  And a few women (girls?) that I highly respect and appreciate had great praise for this book.  So I decided to go for it.  And wouldn't you know right in the middle of this adoption process is actually the perfect time for me to read this book?

Because I need grace.  A lot of it.  

But sometimes, I believe the lie that I should be able to handle this myself.

I believe that if I just to do the right things, the right way, it will work out right.

And when I make a mess, I get mad at myself for making a mess... because I should know better.

Instead of trying harder and shoulding myself, I need grace.

I need to let go of tightly clenched fists and let grace grow in open hands.

This book gave me a new mantra for these days that are newly filled with double-toddler-hood.  

Chapter 11 - receive - on truth and trusting : begins with this verse {and by the way, I adore books that have quotes at the beginning of a chapter, its like a little sneak preview all wrapped up in perfectly chosen words}

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful."  Colossians 3:15

Emily goes on to talk about "the letting" in chapter 11.  I feel I might do a great disservice by just choosing a few of her words, but this letting bit covered me like the most comfy blanket...surrounding me and assuring me that this letting is where I will find my Savior's grace.

"We have the letting power.  If I cling to my if-only-I-coulds and my if-they-would-justs, I miss out on the freedom to be found in letting peace rule.  The truth is true whether I let it be or not.  Colossians says let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...

... I have to receive this peace.  It is not an easy thing to do, to quiet the voices of the accusing party and to allow peace to have the authority.  If I will let it, the peace of Christ will stand between me and the lies of the enemy, the lies that accuse and attack and shame.  Letting this peace rule is a profound mystery, and for many years, it seemed impossible."

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  

Many mornings, before I even put my feet in the floor, I start with that verse.  Many times throughout the day when things get messy and frustration starts creeping, I repeat that verse.  Sometimes, as I repeat it, I put emphasis on "LET" and other times on "PEACE" and still other times "RULE," and of course, "and BE THANKFUL."

So good.  So so good.  You should read it.  And just today, Emily posted this on her blog... so maybe you should read it this summer.

p.s.

Emily is in the process of editing Graceful, which is written for young women that are starting out as good girls. It will be available in  the fall.

Happy Thanksgiving! {a few days late}

We kicked off our Thanksgiving week with a walk through the lights at Callaway Gardens. Once a year they allow pedestrians to walk the 6.2 miles through the lights and the proceeds from ticket sales go to the March of Dimes.

We traveled this year for Thanksgiving.  Which is a first for us since moving from MI.  We went up to visit Bryan & Emily and David, Casey & Breeze.  We had the added bonus of seeing Ben too, because he rode down with Casey's dad for the weekend! I seriously only took my camera out one time while we were with them...  I got a picture of Wilson with Breeze.  He had been wanting to hold Breeze all day and finally the time was right.  He LOVED it so much.  How adorable is Breeze?  Emily did take some AWESOME family pictures.  You can click here to see them.  (I'll probably post some here eventually, but it might be awhile!)

I also got a chance to go visit our friend, Kelley and their little guy John Buckley. It was awesome to get to see him... and I actually got to hold him too. It was amazing to hold that itty-bitty miracle in my arms. If you think of it, please keep him in your prayers. Specifically pray that he would outgrow his apnea problems.

And here's my sweet friend, Kelley taking his temperature. Please keep praying for her too; for strength for each day, and rest each night.

And, you know a Thanksgiving post would not be complete without our Turkey! Thank you for sending your feathers back! The boys LOVE this tradition so very much!

We have so very much to be thankful for!  We are blessed with immeasurably more than we could ever need.

praying for an itty-bitty baby...

So, I know, I haven't been posting as often as I usually do. I just wanted to quickly ask any of you that still check this blog for updates to please add your prayers to ours for this little baby. He was born last week at 27 weeks 2 days. His name is John Buckly and he has the nickname "Lil Buck." He is amazing the doctors each day, but has a very, very long way to go. His parents are good friends of ours, you've read about them here before and here as well. They moved over the summer. Kelley's due date was in January. She is staying at the Ronald McDonald House near the hospital with the baby, about an hour from their home. Every prayer on their behalf is welcomed.

As for us, there isn't anything substantial to update you on... we are still waiting on the adoption, we are waiting for Brad to {possibly} get orders for somewhere, sometime. We are also praying about how to finish up Wilson's fundraising for the year. He has met his goal, but we are not convinced that he should stop just yet. We're praying we can help him finish it well. Also, if you didn't know, I started another blog for my sewing business and a FB page. Although I've not done much with either of those the last week or so too... I am working at finding balance and choosing the most important things. Eventually I'll figure it out.

seven words...

Adoption update.

Or non-update, depending on how you look at it.

We still wait.

Every day.

And believe wholeheartedly that God knows every detail perfectly well and His plans surpass our wildest hopes.

Even in the midst of wholehearted belief, there is fatigue. And I think that its OK. Reading through the Psalms you can see that David did not hold back in revealing his heart to God. So that is what I've been doing too, revealing my whole heart to God. I don't often reveal it to everyone else though. And I think that is OK too.

Last week at PWOC, we sang the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. We had sung it the week before too, and I totally boo-hooed through it. I did the same this time. And then following that song we sang, "Waiting Here for You" by Christy Nockels. That did me in. Tears rolling down my cheeks, with my hands lifted high in praise...

The praise team dismissed the body to fellowship and snack time but also invited those that wished to stay and worship to do so ... and also invited anyone that wanted to pray at the altar to come forward. And I did go forward, as they played through "Waiting Here for You" again.

Palms on the floor, face to the carpet. Tears dropping straight from my eyes to the ground. Crying, praying quietly the only words I could mutter... "God please, give me patience to wait, give me courage to praise, while I wait. Bring our babies (?) home" Another lady came behind me and prayed over me. I recognized her voice...

... we had been in a study together a year ago. She and her husband were retired missionaries and she just felt she needed to plug into the military community. I had appreciated her prayers and encouragement over the last year. I was grateful that I knew who was crying out on my behalf. I recalled catching up with her about two weeks ago and telling her that we were still "just waiting." I thought for sure our conversation was on her mind too as she called out for God's peace to rest on me...

...As the praise team finished their song, someone brought me a tissue and I pulled my hands from the ground, resting back on my legs. My prayer warrior pulled me close and whispered, "Is there anything specific I can pray for you?" I blubbered, "I just want my babies to come home. You know, this adoption process has been so long..."

And y'all her 7 word answer encompassed a wealth of knowledge, a measure of peace, and a dose of reality all at the same time.

She put her hands over her heart and exclaimed, "Oh thank God that's all it is!"

I knew immediately that she was right. God has reassured me so many times that He has this in His hands. He knows who and He knows when. He has led us well. For a brief moment, I felt bad and wondered what on earth she might have feared I was crying about! And peace washed over me and my blotchy-ugly-cry face. I hugged her and thanked her and she promised to pray with me this week about our adoption.

I've gotten so many encouraging words even in the last 5 days. There is a song out by Matt Redman that I posted sometime in the last week to FB. It has been a HUGE encouragement to me knowing that not one single step of this journey is alone.



It's kinda like a sneak peek into the future. Whatever you are waiting for I hope you are encouraged to know that He is faithful.

scars and struggles on the way
but with joy our hearts can say
NEVER ONCE
did we ever walk alone
carried by your constant grace
held within your perfect peace
NEVER ONCE
NO, WE NEVER WALK ALONE

NEVER ONCE
did we ever walk alone
NEVER ONCE
did you leave us on our own
Because You are Faithful
God You are Faithful
every step we are breathing in Your grace
evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful,
God, You are Faithful

heavy is settling in

One of the missionaries that I worked with in the Gambia was walking along the beach Friday and collapsed. He awoke in Heaven and left his family reeling. Here is the complete article - click here.

My {former} neighbor's husband passed away last weekend, I found out while we were traveling back from NC. He too left behind a wife and four children. You can read about "Robbie" here.

The week that we went to NC, a friend's nephew died. Because of SIDS. Her sister put her healthy little bundle to bed and when she went to get him he was lifeless. No reason, no cause, just gone.

I have cried about all of these situations. I've sat staring into space and wondered about the "whys". And I've got nothing.

I know that there are horribly sad circumstances in abundance each day all over the world. I know that is true. But right now, these circumstances that my friends & acquaintances are walking through are weighing heavy on my heart. I don't know much how to pray, and I don't have many encouraging words to offer.

God created me with a tender heart that invites others' pain to come and dwell inside. Its uncomfortable, but its how He made me. I hope as I bear a bit of their pain that I learn more of our Father's goodness as well. I pray that I will be obedient to Him; to offer encouragement when he prompts me; to be quiet before Him on their behalf; to trust that His ways are not our ways. And as He turns the mourning in to dancing, I pray that I will acknowledge His faithfulness.

If you think of it and would like to pray for these families, I know it will be appreciated.

How Junior has changed our lives...

... also known as the Compassion International post.

So, if I am honest with y'all, I've put off this post for two weeks now. I have been prompted to write it - clearly, without a doubt - and yet, I've talked myself out of it. And here I sit, deciding to be obedient. I don't doubt for a second that this is intended specifically for one of you.

So be prepared.

We started sponsoring Junior through Compassion International last year. I first thought about sponsoring a child while Brad was deployed but I didn't want to sign up for it while on our "deployment" pay and then have to back out of it when Brad came home. Finally we made time last year after we were settled here, to look on the website and select a child to sponsor.

This won't be a surprise to anyone - we knew we wanted a child from Africa. We also wanted a boy so our boys could relate. We choose Junior because he is in between Wilson and Walker's age.

After we signed up, we received a packet with his picture and some background information about him and his family. We wrote him a letter and included some stickers and coloring pages.

A long while later, we got our first letter from him. I had no idea how amazing that would feel.

We've exchanged a few letters now. Junior is still pretty young, so his letters are brief and you can tell that someone helps him write them. He also draws us pictures. There is a format for his letters so he includes information about what he is learning at school and what he likes to do at home, etc. Its always a treat to hear from him.

But his last letter brought me to tears.

Brad and I had just had to make a financial decision that was somewhat disappointing. We felt like we had let the boys down, and that perhaps other people were unhappy with us too. I did a lot of crying about it. I did a lot of praying about it. I also cried and prayed as is common in my relationship with Jesus. God can handle that sort of thing. In the end, I felt a lot of peace about our decision, although I wasn't very thrilled with my initial response. {Lord, if I could learn to respond to circumstances immediately the way you want, wow, that would be awesome!}

Then we got Junior's letter. He told us about school and a song he is singing there. He told us that he likes to fetch water and collect firewood for dinner preparation. And he told us that his family prays for us. And my eyes stung immediately. This little boy, who has so little in terms of worldly possessions, prays for my family.

I've been to Africa, I can picture what Junior's house might be like. I can imagine the sounds and the smells. I am humbled to think that in that little home prayers are offered for my family.

I thought about how I had just been crying over a financial decision we had made. A decision that in terms of eternity will have little to no impact. I cried over it. Meanwhile, this family in Africa was praying for me. I thanked God for Junior. I thanked Him for leading us to sponsor this little guy. I thanked Him for letting us be a part of His bigger picture.

Junior gives us perspective. Junior teaches us about being thankful and working hard. Junior teaches us about faithfulness. We hope to sponsor Junior throughout his entire childhood. One day I hope to meet him here on earth. I look forward to the day we meet him in heaven. There are many more children like Junior, would you consider sponsoring one?

Sponsor a Child

ever heard of...

World Malaria Day?

I hadn't until recently, and guess what? Its today! Here are a few links if you are intersted in finding out more...

World Vision has a special page dedicated to Malaria, with lots of good information.

Compassion also has a campaign called Bite Back.

I am sure if you google World Malaria Day, you will find much more. Keep in mind, Brad is taking medication everyday while he is there. He has a net that is treated with a chemical to deter these mosquitos, in case he isn't in his regular sleeping area. If Brad is exposed to malaria, he will be treated for it.

Every 30 seconds a child dies of malaria.