11 October 2011

seven words...

Adoption update.

Or non-update, depending on how you look at it.

We still wait.

Every day.

And believe wholeheartedly that God knows every detail perfectly well and His plans surpass our wildest hopes.

Even in the midst of wholehearted belief, there is fatigue. And I think that its OK. Reading through the Psalms you can see that David did not hold back in revealing his heart to God. So that is what I've been doing too, revealing my whole heart to God. I don't often reveal it to everyone else though. And I think that is OK too.

Last week at PWOC, we sang the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. We had sung it the week before too, and I totally boo-hooed through it. I did the same this time. And then following that song we sang, "Waiting Here for You" by Christy Nockels. That did me in. Tears rolling down my cheeks, with my hands lifted high in praise...

The praise team dismissed the body to fellowship and snack time but also invited those that wished to stay and worship to do so ... and also invited anyone that wanted to pray at the altar to come forward. And I did go forward, as they played through "Waiting Here for You" again.

Palms on the floor, face to the carpet. Tears dropping straight from my eyes to the ground. Crying, praying quietly the only words I could mutter... "God please, give me patience to wait, give me courage to praise, while I wait. Bring our babies (?) home" Another lady came behind me and prayed over me. I recognized her voice...

... we had been in a study together a year ago. She and her husband were retired missionaries and she just felt she needed to plug into the military community. I had appreciated her prayers and encouragement over the last year. I was grateful that I knew who was crying out on my behalf. I recalled catching up with her about two weeks ago and telling her that we were still "just waiting." I thought for sure our conversation was on her mind too as she called out for God's peace to rest on me...

...As the praise team finished their song, someone brought me a tissue and I pulled my hands from the ground, resting back on my legs. My prayer warrior pulled me close and whispered, "Is there anything specific I can pray for you?" I blubbered, "I just want my babies to come home. You know, this adoption process has been so long..."

And y'all her 7 word answer encompassed a wealth of knowledge, a measure of peace, and a dose of reality all at the same time.

She put her hands over her heart and exclaimed, "Oh thank God that's all it is!"

I knew immediately that she was right. God has reassured me so many times that He has this in His hands. He knows who and He knows when. He has led us well. For a brief moment, I felt bad and wondered what on earth she might have feared I was crying about! And peace washed over me and my blotchy-ugly-cry face. I hugged her and thanked her and she promised to pray with me this week about our adoption.

I've gotten so many encouraging words even in the last 5 days. There is a song out by Matt Redman that I posted sometime in the last week to FB. It has been a HUGE encouragement to me knowing that not one single step of this journey is alone.

It's kinda like a sneak peek into the future. Whatever you are waiting for I hope you are encouraged to know that He is faithful.

scars and struggles on the way
but with joy our hearts can say
did we ever walk alone
carried by your constant grace
held within your perfect peace

did we ever walk alone
did you leave us on our own
Because You are Faithful
God You are Faithful
every step we are breathing in Your grace
evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful,
God, You are Faithful

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