So, most of you know how we got to this place of adopting. Lots of praying, conversation, waiting, praying, rinse & repeat. And we decided to jump in and move forward with a domestic adoption through foster care.
And you know what? I was naive enough to think that God was going to place a child in our home in just a handful of months. And after nearly a year of waiting, I thought, well, maybe I just need to fire up some prayer warriors. And I was naive enough to think that after I sent that first email to my praying-friends that God was going to place a child in our home. And after 8 months of emailing out updates, we got a call that we had been matched. And I was naive enough to think that our babies would be legally-our-babies within a month of two. That was four months ago.
I don't know how long this process will take until we all have matching last names. I am ok with that. I can see that God leads me with enough naivety to take the next step. He doesn't fill me in on all the details because there is a good chance that I would just say "NO WAY! THAT IS LIKE WAY WAY TOO HARD." And so He just leads me step by step. With constant reminders that He is the same, yesterday, today and always. And He has surrounded me with lovely people that pray for our family. And I am certain that they also pray that I am not kept awake at night with worry about this process (because I am not kept awake at night with worry about this process).
It occurred to me today, about those weeks between that "you've been matched" phone call and our first meeting with the caseworkers & foster mom. Weeks. It felt like forever. But God was already growing love in our hearts for these two babies. And I realized today, that those weeks gave root. Because at that first meeting we found out some things that might've caused us to say, "NO WAY!" if we had found out on that initial phone call. We needed those roots to hold the news that this was going to be a different path than we had expected. And by the time we found that out, there was no longer a place in our hearts that could imagine a "NO."
"The very steps we take come from God, otherwise how would we know where we are going?"