27 April 2011

messy

I don't think I'm the kinda gal that likes to be messy... I'm not sayin' that I mind if there are messes in my house... I'm sayin' I don't like to BE a mess...physically, emotionally or spiritually. But it happens.

I've been privileged a few times to be invited into the messiness of other people's lives. Whether, by phone, or email, or in a quiet conversation off to the side. I've been asked to get in the mess with them. Invited to get dirty on their behalf. Sometimes through tears.

I'm talking about praying for others. And not the "please be with them and bless them and take care of them and watch over them." Those prayers aren't so messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a young mother is going to get a second opinion about whether the cancer has spread. Messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a father-in-law doesn't have many days left. Messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a husband and wife are reaching the end of the rope. And neither wants to let go, but neither has much strength to hold on. Messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a judge is making a decision about whether or not a child will become yours or if they will be returned to a difficult home life. Messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a pregnancy hasn't come...after years and years and with various treatments. Messy.

I'm talking about the prayer when a soldier is deploying again...and again... and again. Messy.

These are the prayers that make me be quiet. These are the prayers that lead me to ask God to intercede in ways I can't begin to imagine...to send His peace like a rushing river to overwhelm the hurt, the fear, and the fatigue. These are the prayers that make me feel weary and grateful all at the same time. These are the prayers that remind me that His ways are not my ways. These are the prayers that make me rejoice in living life with others. Even if they are messy.

Because sometimes - not always - but sometimes, I get to see the beauty on the other side of the mess.

Last Thursday I got two emails - one with the subject line "In Labor" from my friend that was told she and her husband wouldn't have babies. The other email was news about my friend's adopted daughters' coming home soon. (very soon!)

And I bawled with joy at the beauty that He is bringing in these lives.

Of course it was before school and I was sniffling as I told Wilson to get his shoes on so I explained that I was crying-happy, not crying-sad. He said, "Oh like on Extreme Makeover Home Edition when the people see their new house and sometimes they cry?" YES! That's exactly it!

The other side of the mess isn't always crying-happy though. I've gotten the phone call that there was no earthly healing, but that the suffering had ended. I've cried with a desperate-mother-to-be when there was no pregnancy. I've wept when the decision was divorce. And yet, I still believe He's at work to make something beautiful come even in these messes.

I know when I am invited into a mess, there is no guarantee about what will be on the other side...and usually no timeline with a day circled at the end. But the honor and privilege to be still & quiet before our God on behalf of another is worth it every time. And while I know there won't always be a happy-ending here on earth, I would hate to miss out on some happy endings, because of the fear of sorrow on the other side of the mess.

If you're reading this post, no doubt you've been messy with us. I appreciate your willingness to go before the Throne on our behalf, to carry our burdens to Him for us. I love that we get to live life with you. Right now I feel this 'adoption process' is a mess. A long, drawn-out mess from where I sit. But I have hope that we will celebrate on the other side of this mess. Thank you for hanging in with us. Thank you for being quiet before Him for us.

Thank you for getting messy. I am humbled that you would do that for us.

2 comments:

  1. wow, sis...thanks so much for that.

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  2. Powerful words, my dear friend! I long and seek to get messy with you.

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