16 October 2008

once again...

...His grace is enough. And I am amazed.

The boys and I took Brad to the airport this afternoon. We do our best to prepare the boys and ourselves for these good-byes, but they seem to get more difficult as they come. However, each time, God is faithful and carries us through. Here are a few pictures from the airport today. This is Walker's favorite spot!

Watching Daddy going through security. As you can see, God granted Brad peace to walk through that door.
I sit here tonight on the verge of tears. I feel like I could type for three hours to try to help you all understand what this feels like. But part of me just wants to curl up on the bed and cry to my Savior. And I know that will be what I choose.

God has spoken to me of His faithfulness through this mental picture for many years. I remember curling up on my bunkbed in college and crying to Him. Of course, the depth of sorrow was a bit different then. But His grace is the same.

In a few minutes, I will close my eyes and imagine myself curled up like a baby in the Hands of the Almighty. The Hands that created this universe, will hold me tonight. I will feel them surround me and His peace will flood over me. Even as I cry out to Him, I will feel His comfort. My bed will melt away as I feel myself nestle into the nail-scars of His palms. I will rest. He alone can grant me rest tonight. And even as the tears flow for Brad, God will remind me in His quiet voice, that He is holding him as well. We are secure in His hands.

Many nights I have drifted off to sleep in the Hands of the Almighty. I know many nights ahead will find me the same way. I am thankful that He shows His love for me in this way.

Thank you for your prayers and the words of encouragement. They mean more than you might ever know.

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand." John 10:27-28


  1. My heart goes out to you Amanda. I just went through the same thing a month ago when John went back. Things have been very hard since he left but they get a tiny, little bit better each week. We, as Army wives have such a hard job but we, as women are strong. I am glad that you have your faith to carry you through. Know that, as always, I am thinking of you and your family and sending huge amounts of love your way.

  2. The pictures tell it all. . . .goodbyes are hard, for sure, but your reunion will be SWEET! You are in our thoughts and prayers, all of you!

  3. My dear sweet friend,
    My heart aches for you and your family but it rejoices in knowing that you are using this time to show others that God is the one who can comfort you.... God will bring you the peace needed to find sleep. God will NEVER leave you. I, too, agree with Molly.... Army wives go through things others can not understand... but God can. You are a strong Christian woman and that is very evident in your posts to your blogs. Know that you are covered in prayers... my mother-in-love asked about you and Brad yesterday. God is placing you on many hearts. We all love the Lutz.
    Just a side note to Molly, we will be praying for you and John while he is away. May God bless you and comfort you in this time.

  4. Oh Amanda-
    You always know just what to write to bring me to tears right along with you.

    I can only guess as to how hard it is having Brad away, but it is SO AWESOME to know you are doing your very best to give it all to God and watch Him provide you and the boys with peace while Brad is away.

    We love and miss you guys, and I wish I could just give you a hug right now.

  5. It's one of the hardest things to do in life! I'm praying for you, the boys, and Brad as you leave each other once again. Know that this is temporary and that he is coming back so soon! Even though it's a known saying I firmly believe, "In God We Trust". Love you guys!

  6. My heart aches for you all and yet at the same time I am so blessed by your testimony of seeking to trust in the Lord!